choose.

not exactly sure why, but the moment i saw THIS on the HONY instagram account that i follow, this post struck a chord within me.

it's pretty tough being a woman these days. if you don't work, you get accused of mooching off your husband and being unproductive then if you work, you get accused of not caring for your family enough and being selfish. sometimes, you can never win.

growing up, it never occurred to me that i wouldn't work, even after marriage. sure, i never knew how i would make it work if i had kids, but somehow, i had faith that i would be able to juggle it all somehow. so here i am, married with a kid, and still working, as i always thought i would be. it's only been a few months and boy, is it challenging but i wouldn't have it any other way.

i won't lie, i work partly for selfish reasons. i'd like to sustain my lifestyle (i like to eat out and try different cafes once in awhile and i like to cook using good ingredients - i try to buy organic as much as i can) and working keeps my mind stimulated. i was on maternity leave for two months, and i liked being at home, but i also missed work -  although these days i never have time to catch up with all my tv series.

i have full admiration for women who stay home with their kids full-time (some even have businesses on the side!) - but i don't think i could do that. it would drive me crazy. i love jigglyboo but i also love working. and i want her to grow up knowing that she can have anything she aims for, as long as she works for it.

if she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, that's great but be smart about it. always have savings tucked aside if anything goes wrong. let it be her own choice and not because she's forced to.and if she chooses to work, i hope she pursues a career that makes her feel happy and fulfilled. i hope she doesn't go to work feeling miserable every morning. i hope she takes pride in her work and inspires herself to always achieve her best, and who knows, maybe even inspires others. i hope jigglyboo never feels like she has to choose between a career or a family in the future. sure, the path may not be exactly as what we plan it out to be but there is always a way to make things work.

at the end of the day, i am proud to be a woman - its advantages and all the challenges that come with it. i am happy that today, the women i know have a choice on what to make of their lives. to work, not to work - it comes down to what you feel is best for yourself and for your family. and whatever the choices that we make, we can wear them with pride. i can only hope that one day all women, everywhere, have that same choice.

calculate.

how was your weekend?

we had a lovely one. R and i brought jigglyboo to the park on saturday morning; although we were running late, it turned out well. R and i, along with a good friend of ours, A, have this park-hopping thingy going on. so any available weekend, we try to explore a new park with jigglyboo. so far, we've been to a couple of parks in putrajaya and this time, we went to the one in TTDI. as usual, i feed jigglyboo before the walk so she doesn't get cranky and of course as soon as we hit the walking trail, she falls asleep. haha. oh well, i would too, if i had someone pushing me in a stroller.

jigglyboo has been swimming once, and she loved it, so i think we'll try it again this coming weekend. it's kinda funny cos some people warned us that once the baby came, we wouldn't be able to get out of the house much. honestly, i think it's more to the contrary. we go out as much as we used to; we just do different things. we want jigglyboo to get as much fresh air as she can, so we try to set up walks in the parks and those kind of things. we can't go climbing with our other friends cos the place isn't exactly baby-friendly. we still go out for family dinners and stuff. sure, we need more time to get ready and sometimes a detour to the baby changing room (or even a nappy change in the car!) is inevitable but i'm happy to report we manage okay.

anyway, after the park excursion, we dropped by one of the meat shops and bought some lamb because i had one of my best friends coming over later to hang out and i wanted to try out a lamb recipe for her and R. the thing is, i never cook lamb cos i don't eat it. but i found a jamie oliver recipe recently that seemed fairly simple and my loved ones like lamb, so why not, right? also happy to report that the lamb along with the mashed potatoes turned out well. so happy! also made some lemon grilled chicken for myself and a serving of green beans to share (wholegrain mustard, lemon juice and olive oil make for a yummy dressing!).

my girl friend, K, brought along some appetizers, these crab rangoons, made up of crabsticks and cream cheese and wrapped up in wantan skin then deep-fried. sounds so weird but actually so yummy!

had over another good friend of ours, B, to join us for dinner. so all in all, it was a saturday well spent.

jigglyboo, R and i all slept in sunday morning so it was almost noon by the time i made some french toast and caramelized bananas for our brunch. then i finally got working on doing my tax e-filing. i just realised i had a spike in income last year and the office didn't do enough deductions, so i owe quite a bit to the IRB now. we even dropped by an IRB office (otw to rohe's football game) to make sure some of my details were correct - so i could proceed with the payment. this is my first time paying a significant amount of tax and boy, does it hurt, haha. but then again, my mom is right, i should be thankful for making the money that i make and the whole point of paying tax is my way of giving back. fine, fine.

lots of things to settle end of this month/early next month. let's hope everything goes smoothly.

spring

how was your weekend?

mine was alright, both R and i took friday off to attend a kenduri in his hometown and stayed there til sunday. got back to KL, had dinner with my mom and sister then went back to our place that looks like it got hit by a tornado.

went to sleep not feeling so well, then woke up with a flu and sore throat. decided to take the day off and R folowed suit to take care of me and jigglyboo. planned on resting and helping R get the house back in order but ended up spending the day just playing around with jigglyboo haha. but we did get started on laundry (isn't there a device that i can use to throw in my clean laundry and it comes out all neatly folded and ironed?). and R did clean our room. i guess we'll work on the living room and the remaining laundry tonight.

i feel like i need to throw out half the stuff in our house, just don't know where to start. i really need to take this wkend off and just stay at home and spring-clean.

random: chrissy teigen posted a lamb recipe earlier. although i don't eat lamb at all, R likes it. maybe i'll make it this wkend. seems easy enough. my fave thing to do on wkends is having a roast dinner.

oh, i still haven't gotten around to doing my tax filin, argh! i have all the receipts and statements ready in my file, just need to make an effort to sit down and do it.

sweet.

i can't remember the last time i actually sat down on the sofa and just watched E! News or something (yes, yes, i watch E! in my spare time, judge me all you want).

having a baby is an incredible thing but it's definitely hard work. especially, when you're someone like me, who insists on cooking homemade food to make sure it's healthy and making lactation cookies cos my milk supply is slightly decreasing and bringing jigglyboo out for a swim or to the park and all sorts of stuff - all this while managing a full-time job and working with a limited monthly budget - things really ARE getting expensive! i suppose everyone has their own challenges, but those are mine, personally.

anyway, jigglyboo is almost 4 months now and since a yoga instructor friend recommended i rest til after i passed the 3-months-mark, i've only started going to weekly classes this month. guess i'm lucky, cos outside classes can cost me like, rm40/class but the office offers classes at a subsidized rate of rm40/month (which obviously works out to rm10/class). untung, alhamdulillah. it's a one-hour class during lunchtime, so that means that i have to rush a bit on tuesdays and gobble up my lunch or eat a sandwich at my table at 2pm, post-class.

one of my best friends is doing this rocktober thingy with her colleagues - it sounds fun, but i've always sucked doing things with only youtube guidance. i did tara stiles workouts for awhile, but i always end up cheating out of the hard poses haha. i guess i'm just the kind of person who needs human presence :/

i used to take bodybalance classes a couple of years back. at my old uni, they had a walk-in policy of like 10 dollars per class, so i always went to those. bodybalance classes are normally set to a series of songs (and they change up the routines and songs every few months) - i attended it during the period where the script's "breakeven" song was the lead song - which has led me to always associate "breakeven" to working out haha.

anyways, there aren't that many places that offer bodybalance classes in kl, and for the ones that do, they're a part of a gym. after two unsucessful gym membership stints, i just refuse to sign up for another gym membership. i know, it works for some people, it's just not for me. i guess i like to mix things up - right now, i'm doing yoga, then once i get my upper body strength back i'll go back to climbing. and maybe once i have time (and money) to actually go find an outfit, i'll go swimming again. just don't ask me to run! R keeps going on and on (and on) about how he needs a running partner, well, too bad, cos i just hate running. it's boring, it's repetitive, and i hate it. i know a lot of people say that running helps them clear their minds - all i think when i go running is "when is this torture going to end??" hahaha, i know what you're thinking. zip it.

oh well.

we're off to R's hometown this weekend for a lil kenduri. i think this is jigglboo's second time going back. she's only been to my hometown once for her aqiqah. the girl is a kl girl, i guess, haha - she spends most of her time here cos my family's always in kl anyway and R's family comes to visit occasionally.

jigglyboo can baby talk now. i think she's going to be quite the talker. she even gets angry at people now, haha.

gotta get home early today and start on my second batch of lactation cookies!