just another week of work left. my gynae says once i reach 39 weeks (and if i don't deliver yet by then haha) he'll be issuing sick leave for me. the work at the office isn't really a concern for me, we're not very busy right now, but dragging myself out of the bed in the morning and the drive to and from work is getting increasingly tiresome. luckily, it's the school holidays now, so the traffic is actually not so bad.
anyhow, in between all of the baby stuff i've been busy with lately, i've had some time to make traveling plans for next year. last month, R found out that MAS was having an online sale - so as luck would have it, we got to grab a pair of return tickets to KK for the both of us, for just rm500. i was quite pleased, as the normal price is significantly more expensive -even if we travelled by AA. so now, we have traveling plans for june, just a couple of weeks before fasting month starts. i guess it'll be the first time we'll be traveling with a baby by flight, so that's gonna need a little bit of coordination (we even have to wait til she's born to buy her infant ticket, which is kinda funny to us) - with the stroller and car seat and all, but i think we'll manage.
i pretty much have a rough itinerary planned out (yes, i know it's still six months away but a little early planning never hurt anyone) - its gonna be a 5D4N trip, so i'm pretty excited cos we'll be able to spend a night in kundasang (a place i've always wanted to go, for some reason - just not to climb Mt Kinabalu, haha) and then spend the rest of the nights in the city.
we haven't managed to travel long-distance after i got pregnant this year (luckily i managed to cram in quite a few trips in the first quarter of the year) so i think i've been bitten by the wanderlust bug. i'm kind of suffering from travel withdrawal haha. so next year, baby in tow, we're gonna still try to work out a few trips.
we already have sabah scheduled (it's actually one of the last few malaysian states i've never been to - i've even been to sarawak!) for june. my mom has mentioned something about singapore next year - but they'll be going to europe around may, so we'll have to find a suitable time for that. but singapore isn't that difficult, just gotta buy flight tickets and book a hotel and we're good to go. also got tentative plans to visit bandung by the end of next year with the usual bunch. we haven't done a trip together in quite awhile. and since R's never been to indonesia, thought it would be a good idea.
guess all that's left is to make sure we save up lots of money for the traveling! not sure how life is gonna be like with jigglyboo in our lives, and eventhough a lot of people say it's gonna be tough, i have friends who have made it work. so let's keep a positive mind :)
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
live
so today is a public holiday for one of the states here. sadly, my office isn't located within that state. so R and a bunch of my other friends are having a lovely day off while i'm stuck in the office. well, it isn't so bad cos R sent me to the office today, since we have plans to go grocery shopping at publika after i finish work today.
i was super-hungry today and since we ate out last night, i didn't cook anything and there were no leftover/supplies to bring to work today. so ended up making a quick pit stop at a stall near our place on the way to work to buy something for my lunch at the office later (since R sent me to work, i can't drive out) and also made another stop at a starbucks near the office to takeaway a cup of hot choc and their yummy banana-choc-chip muffin.
anyway, there have been a few friendship dramas brewing around lately. if this had happened like years ago, i would probably care more. not that i care about my friends less these days (i think i appreciate them more, actually) - i mean, i try to listen to the updates, but i try not to get too emotionally involved. i just give my perspective, and whether people want to listen or not - that's really up to them. we all deal with our demons differently, no? i can't force someone to deal with issues the way i would/do. and i always like to remind myself that there are always two sides to every story. so that i always try to look at something from all angles.
a lot of people think that i'm way too chill when it comes to certain issues. honestly, sometimes, these things get to me too. but sometimes, no matter what you say or do, things are just the way they are. and some people just refuse to change or even try to see things from other people's views. so why get so worked up over something that is beyond your control?
as they say, live, and let live.
i was super-hungry today and since we ate out last night, i didn't cook anything and there were no leftover/supplies to bring to work today. so ended up making a quick pit stop at a stall near our place on the way to work to buy something for my lunch at the office later (since R sent me to work, i can't drive out) and also made another stop at a starbucks near the office to takeaway a cup of hot choc and their yummy banana-choc-chip muffin.
anyway, there have been a few friendship dramas brewing around lately. if this had happened like years ago, i would probably care more. not that i care about my friends less these days (i think i appreciate them more, actually) - i mean, i try to listen to the updates, but i try not to get too emotionally involved. i just give my perspective, and whether people want to listen or not - that's really up to them. we all deal with our demons differently, no? i can't force someone to deal with issues the way i would/do. and i always like to remind myself that there are always two sides to every story. so that i always try to look at something from all angles.
a lot of people think that i'm way too chill when it comes to certain issues. honestly, sometimes, these things get to me too. but sometimes, no matter what you say or do, things are just the way they are. and some people just refuse to change or even try to see things from other people's views. so why get so worked up over something that is beyond your control?
as they say, live, and let live.
Monday, December 9, 2013
blessed.
so the past week has been quite eventful. i like to think of it as one of my last all-out weekends before we gotta take it easy and wait for jigglyboo to come.
my actual birthday last week was a quiet one. the night before my birthday, we actually had pizza night in. we went a bit crazy and pretty much ordered whatever we felt like (we had lots of leftover for days after hehe). i took the day off from work, just because. spent the day at home alone, cos R had a meeting that he couldn't get out of. so i mostly cooked for myself the whole day, nothing much.
anyway, the little sis came back as usual, and two of R's lil siblings also came from M to spend some time in kl that weekend. kicked off the weekend by catching a movie that i'd been looking forward to "kolumpo" - it was a good movie and we went with a bunch of friends and the lil kids in tow. R had told me a c ouple of weeks earlier to reserve saturday for ourselves - he didn't say much but if course i knew there was a bday thingy planned for me with the usual people. this year, we had a bday brunch at one of my fave bfast/brunch places. R had ordered a spread of various cakes and cupcakes from my SIL and my brother, who have a lil cake business going on. everything was yummy!
afterwards, the girlfriends threw a surprise baby shower for me! after the brunch fiasco a few weeks back, that wasn't really a baby shower (haha) - i had actually resigned myself to not having one at all - unless i had the energy to throw one for myself. mostly cos im so far along by now, and i just don't have the energy for it. but my girlfriends - led by two of my best friends - threw me such a lovely one. it was a small affair but we had so much fun with the games - courtesy of another of my bestfriend back from my old workplace. while this was ongoing, the boys just went to grab coffee amongst themselves at another place, then came and joined us towards the end. we also got a couple more additions of gifts for jigglyboo - i loved them!
anyway, although i'd been out since the morning and was pretty much exhausted, i genuinely loved the whole day. i spent it with people that i loved and i knew would always be there for me - i feel so blessed to have these people in my life. i seriously could not ask for more. so much love.
got home late afternoon, had a short lie-in before bringing out the lil siblings to dinner. my sister begged off because she's busy studying for her upcoming exams. R's siblings had gone out during the day with their other brother so we decided to take them out that night for a nice dinner. i had a strong urge for italian food, so we went to my fave italian joint. food was yummy as always, and as luck would have it, right after settling into our table (the place was quite full that night) - who should be seated at the table next to ours but one of malaysia's most well-known chefs! yup, chef Wan, in the flesh.
this was especially exciting for R's lil brother, who was a HUGE fan of his - he loves food, loves cooking, and knows pretty much all the cooking shows. so we let him have dinner with his family in peace while we went on with ours - and right before he left, the lil ones asked for a photo with him. he was actually super nice and funny, and very accommodating - much like his persona on-screen. anyhow, we had a happy fan going home by the end of the night :)
kick-started sunday pretty early the next morning for our ultimate agenda that weekend - the BBW sale. i had planned to leave home by 6am (we tried going around midnight last year - lets just say it was a different kind of madness, especially the lines at the cashier counters haha). anyway, we learned our lesson from last year, so this year decided to try our luck going super-early : my theory is that the midnight crowd would have already gone home by then and the morning crowd would probably only descend after breakfast-time. and lucky us, our theory was pretty good. there was a thin crowd, but nothing crazy. we got to roam around for a good few hours. this year, i decided to just focus on the areas that i really had interest in. i left R to his own devices to find books for jigglyboo in the kiddies' section, hehe. our two lil guests also seemed to have fun walking about searching for their own books. i'd already told them the book-hunting was my treat - it's only a once-a-year event and i'll pretty much do anything to encourage kids to read. the fact that the books were all super-cheap didn't hurt either, hehe.
we left the warehouse just as the morning crowd started to trickle in - and headed off to grab some breakfast. then we had to go on and run some errands which pretty much took up the rest of the morning. got home around noon and everyone passed out for a good few hours from the lack of sleep, haha. woke up and had a little light lunch and lazed around for til it was dinnertime. i whipped up a quick dinner - fried fish fillets, potato wedges, steamed green beans. then right after dinner, R led them all out (i only sent them to the door - i was exhausted) and dropped them off at their destinations - his lil siblings at the bus station to head back to their hometown then sent my lil sis back to her hostel.
so all in all, it was a tiring but fun weekend. i'm 37 weeks now, so just taking this week easy - have dinner plans with an old friend tonight but apart from that, just gonna stay home with R and chill out. hope this week goes by fast, i have another week and a half at work before starting maternity leave - with my gynae's approval. jigglyboo can stay in my tummy for as long as she needs - as long as she's not overdue, haha - we still have a few things of hers that need changing and buying and washing. our next appointment isn't for another week and a half - the same day i start my maternity leave. so lets hope all is well until then.
my actual birthday last week was a quiet one. the night before my birthday, we actually had pizza night in. we went a bit crazy and pretty much ordered whatever we felt like (we had lots of leftover for days after hehe). i took the day off from work, just because. spent the day at home alone, cos R had a meeting that he couldn't get out of. so i mostly cooked for myself the whole day, nothing much.
anyway, the little sis came back as usual, and two of R's lil siblings also came from M to spend some time in kl that weekend. kicked off the weekend by catching a movie that i'd been looking forward to "kolumpo" - it was a good movie and we went with a bunch of friends and the lil kids in tow. R had told me a c ouple of weeks earlier to reserve saturday for ourselves - he didn't say much but if course i knew there was a bday thingy planned for me with the usual people. this year, we had a bday brunch at one of my fave bfast/brunch places. R had ordered a spread of various cakes and cupcakes from my SIL and my brother, who have a lil cake business going on. everything was yummy!
afterwards, the girlfriends threw a surprise baby shower for me! after the brunch fiasco a few weeks back, that wasn't really a baby shower (haha) - i had actually resigned myself to not having one at all - unless i had the energy to throw one for myself. mostly cos im so far along by now, and i just don't have the energy for it. but my girlfriends - led by two of my best friends - threw me such a lovely one. it was a small affair but we had so much fun with the games - courtesy of another of my bestfriend back from my old workplace. while this was ongoing, the boys just went to grab coffee amongst themselves at another place, then came and joined us towards the end. we also got a couple more additions of gifts for jigglyboo - i loved them!
anyway, although i'd been out since the morning and was pretty much exhausted, i genuinely loved the whole day. i spent it with people that i loved and i knew would always be there for me - i feel so blessed to have these people in my life. i seriously could not ask for more. so much love.
got home late afternoon, had a short lie-in before bringing out the lil siblings to dinner. my sister begged off because she's busy studying for her upcoming exams. R's siblings had gone out during the day with their other brother so we decided to take them out that night for a nice dinner. i had a strong urge for italian food, so we went to my fave italian joint. food was yummy as always, and as luck would have it, right after settling into our table (the place was quite full that night) - who should be seated at the table next to ours but one of malaysia's most well-known chefs! yup, chef Wan, in the flesh.
this was especially exciting for R's lil brother, who was a HUGE fan of his - he loves food, loves cooking, and knows pretty much all the cooking shows. so we let him have dinner with his family in peace while we went on with ours - and right before he left, the lil ones asked for a photo with him. he was actually super nice and funny, and very accommodating - much like his persona on-screen. anyhow, we had a happy fan going home by the end of the night :)
kick-started sunday pretty early the next morning for our ultimate agenda that weekend - the BBW sale. i had planned to leave home by 6am (we tried going around midnight last year - lets just say it was a different kind of madness, especially the lines at the cashier counters haha). anyway, we learned our lesson from last year, so this year decided to try our luck going super-early : my theory is that the midnight crowd would have already gone home by then and the morning crowd would probably only descend after breakfast-time. and lucky us, our theory was pretty good. there was a thin crowd, but nothing crazy. we got to roam around for a good few hours. this year, i decided to just focus on the areas that i really had interest in. i left R to his own devices to find books for jigglyboo in the kiddies' section, hehe. our two lil guests also seemed to have fun walking about searching for their own books. i'd already told them the book-hunting was my treat - it's only a once-a-year event and i'll pretty much do anything to encourage kids to read. the fact that the books were all super-cheap didn't hurt either, hehe.
we left the warehouse just as the morning crowd started to trickle in - and headed off to grab some breakfast. then we had to go on and run some errands which pretty much took up the rest of the morning. got home around noon and everyone passed out for a good few hours from the lack of sleep, haha. woke up and had a little light lunch and lazed around for til it was dinnertime. i whipped up a quick dinner - fried fish fillets, potato wedges, steamed green beans. then right after dinner, R led them all out (i only sent them to the door - i was exhausted) and dropped them off at their destinations - his lil siblings at the bus station to head back to their hometown then sent my lil sis back to her hostel.
so all in all, it was a tiring but fun weekend. i'm 37 weeks now, so just taking this week easy - have dinner plans with an old friend tonight but apart from that, just gonna stay home with R and chill out. hope this week goes by fast, i have another week and a half at work before starting maternity leave - with my gynae's approval. jigglyboo can stay in my tummy for as long as she needs - as long as she's not overdue, haha - we still have a few things of hers that need changing and buying and washing. our next appointment isn't for another week and a half - the same day i start my maternity leave. so lets hope all is well until then.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
waiting game.
back at work after taking a couple of days off for my birthday. not that i did anything special; this year's bday has been the most chilled-out bday ever. although there weren't any celebrations, i guess i didn't mind - guess we mellow with age, huh?
R took the day off on monday - to accompany to run errands the whole day. yup, i'm still running around all over kl to settle stuff -some that isn't even my responsibility. but what to do. anyway, slept in a bit then headed over to the sister's uni to settle some of her accommodation stuff; which after all the never-ending drama, i just wnted to settle once and for all. luckily sister goes to one of those 90210 campuses which has their own starbucks; so we had time to grab a quickie breakfast - mine was hot choc and choc chip banana muffin - can't go wrong with that :)
once that was done, we headed over to check on the baby nursery that was in our shortlist for jigglyboo. by early march, i'll start work again and my mom will take over for a couple of months but i don't wanna burden her with taking care of an infant - she has other stuff she wants to do as well - her morning walks, her vacation trips, etc. and she and my dad and other sis are going on a two-week trip by the end of april, so we've decided to start sending jigglyboo to the nursery from may onwards. she'll be about 4months plus by then so hopefully she'll be okay. R's parents are worried that we're sending her to strangers instead of our own relatives - i guess they're kinda surplussed why my mom doesnt wanna take care of jigglyboo full-time like they do for their other grandchild. but i feel like this is the best solution for everyone - this is our little family, and i don't want anyone to feel obligated to be taking care of our infant child; it's not an easy job. plus i want her to get proper care. and all of my siblings grew up in nurseries, so it's not a new concept to us.
anyway, it'll just be for the first year or so. as soon as there's an opening at the creche downstairs at the office, we'll definitely move her. just gotta make some tough choices for now, but hey, no one said it'd be smooth sailing. but as of now, i'm happy with the choices we've made and insha Allah, we'll be happy parents to a bouncing jigglyboo soon enough!
after stopping to buy a quick lunch at home, headed on to our appointment with my gynae. as usual, we got there a bit earlier and were the first patient to see him, yay. spent a little bit more time talking to him than usual - because i had a list of questions i wanted to ask him. he explained a lot about what to expect - everything else seemed to be normal - then set our next appointment for another three weeks, in week 39 (if i don't pop yet by then haha).
only planning to work for another two and a half weeks; so planning on asking if he can issue medical/rest leave by then. i think he'll be okay with the plan. also got the letter that HR needed to process the issuance letter of my GL. everything seems to be on track so far so lets just hope for the best. at this rate, it's pretty much just a waiting game for us.
jigglyboo, your daddy and i can't wait to meet you. and we just want you to be safe and healthy.
R took the day off on monday - to accompany to run errands the whole day. yup, i'm still running around all over kl to settle stuff -some that isn't even my responsibility. but what to do. anyway, slept in a bit then headed over to the sister's uni to settle some of her accommodation stuff; which after all the never-ending drama, i just wnted to settle once and for all. luckily sister goes to one of those 90210 campuses which has their own starbucks; so we had time to grab a quickie breakfast - mine was hot choc and choc chip banana muffin - can't go wrong with that :)
once that was done, we headed over to check on the baby nursery that was in our shortlist for jigglyboo. by early march, i'll start work again and my mom will take over for a couple of months but i don't wanna burden her with taking care of an infant - she has other stuff she wants to do as well - her morning walks, her vacation trips, etc. and she and my dad and other sis are going on a two-week trip by the end of april, so we've decided to start sending jigglyboo to the nursery from may onwards. she'll be about 4months plus by then so hopefully she'll be okay. R's parents are worried that we're sending her to strangers instead of our own relatives - i guess they're kinda surplussed why my mom doesnt wanna take care of jigglyboo full-time like they do for their other grandchild. but i feel like this is the best solution for everyone - this is our little family, and i don't want anyone to feel obligated to be taking care of our infant child; it's not an easy job. plus i want her to get proper care. and all of my siblings grew up in nurseries, so it's not a new concept to us.
anyway, it'll just be for the first year or so. as soon as there's an opening at the creche downstairs at the office, we'll definitely move her. just gotta make some tough choices for now, but hey, no one said it'd be smooth sailing. but as of now, i'm happy with the choices we've made and insha Allah, we'll be happy parents to a bouncing jigglyboo soon enough!
after stopping to buy a quick lunch at home, headed on to our appointment with my gynae. as usual, we got there a bit earlier and were the first patient to see him, yay. spent a little bit more time talking to him than usual - because i had a list of questions i wanted to ask him. he explained a lot about what to expect - everything else seemed to be normal - then set our next appointment for another three weeks, in week 39 (if i don't pop yet by then haha).
only planning to work for another two and a half weeks; so planning on asking if he can issue medical/rest leave by then. i think he'll be okay with the plan. also got the letter that HR needed to process the issuance letter of my GL. everything seems to be on track so far so lets just hope for the best. at this rate, it's pretty much just a waiting game for us.
jigglyboo, your daddy and i can't wait to meet you. and we just want you to be safe and healthy.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
boo!
going into week 36, i suppose i should start thinking of when to start maternity leave. but i have an appointment with my gynae on monday, so i guess i'll just have a chat with him and take it from there. i'm reluctant to start maternity leave too early because i feel like i can still drive to work without any problems (the drive to and back from work isn't so bad, especially now that it's school holidays) and i wouldn't be doing much at home anyway. also, i'd rather have more time with jigglyboo after she comes out to see the world instead of wasting the time off at home, alone. after all, i do only get 60 days off from work. i was thiking that since my EDD is at the end of dec, maybe i'd just start my leave in week 39, starting from 23rd dec (which is only 3 weeks away, can you believe it?!).
don't really know how i feel at the moment - nervous and excited i guess. nervous cos i don't know what to expect and excited to finally see jigglyboo. luckily, everything else is all in place so i'm not stressed out about anything - we finished decorating the apartment and the nursery and the hospital is just across the road and i plan to ask my gynae a list of questions when i see him next week - so i'll have a bit of peace of mind. and luckily i'm not involved in any work projects at the moment (which can also be quite boring - but i've been using the extra time to do lots of extra research on baby-related stuff) so that's also one less thing to worry about.
i just hope jigglyboo doesn't spring any surprises cos i know my bday celebration is coming up; don't want R and my friends to end up bringing the cake to the hospital haha. and i'm still looking forward to the BBW sale (i need to stock up for the days that i'll be holed up at home!), just that i probably won't stay as long as i did last year. i suppose a mid-month delivery would be just nice. but hey, as long as jigglyboo comes out healthy and bouncing, i'll be more than thankful.
don't really know how i feel at the moment - nervous and excited i guess. nervous cos i don't know what to expect and excited to finally see jigglyboo. luckily, everything else is all in place so i'm not stressed out about anything - we finished decorating the apartment and the nursery and the hospital is just across the road and i plan to ask my gynae a list of questions when i see him next week - so i'll have a bit of peace of mind. and luckily i'm not involved in any work projects at the moment (which can also be quite boring - but i've been using the extra time to do lots of extra research on baby-related stuff) so that's also one less thing to worry about.
i just hope jigglyboo doesn't spring any surprises cos i know my bday celebration is coming up; don't want R and my friends to end up bringing the cake to the hospital haha. and i'm still looking forward to the BBW sale (i need to stock up for the days that i'll be holed up at home!), just that i probably won't stay as long as i did last year. i suppose a mid-month delivery would be just nice. but hey, as long as jigglyboo comes out healthy and bouncing, i'll be more than thankful.
boo!
going into week 36, i suppose i should start thinking of when to start maternity leave. but i have an appointment with my gynae on monday, so i guess i'll just have a chat with him and take it from there. i'm reluctant to start maternity leave too early because i feel like i can still drive to work without any problems (the drive to and back from work isn't so bad, especially now that it's school holidays) and i wouldn't be doing much at home anyway. also, i'd rather have more time with jigglyboo after she comes out to see the world instead of wasting the time off at home, alone. after all, i do only get 60 days off from work. i was thiking that since my EDD is at the end of dec, maybe i'd just start my leave in week 39, starting from 23rd dec (which is only 3 weeks away, can you believe it?!).
don't really know how i feel at the moment - nervous and excited i guess. nervous cos i don't know what to expect and excited to finally see jigglyboo. luckily, everything else is all in place so i'm not stressed out about anything - we finished decorating the apartment and the nursery and the hospital is just across the road and i plan to ask my gynae a list of questions when i see him next week - so i'll have a bit of peace of mind. and luckily i'm not involved in any work projects at the moment (which can also be quite boring - but i've been using the extra time to do lots of extra research on baby-related stuff) so that's also one less thing to worry about.
i just hope jigglyboo doesn't spring any surprises cos i know my bday celebration is coming up; don't want R and my friends to end up bringing the cake to the hospital haha. and i'm still looking forward to the BBW sale (i need to stock up for the days that i'll be holed up at home!), just that i probably won't stay as long as i did last year. i suppose a mid-month delivery would be just nice. but hey, as long as jigglyboo comes out healthy and bouncing, i'll be more than thankful.
don't really know how i feel at the moment - nervous and excited i guess. nervous cos i don't know what to expect and excited to finally see jigglyboo. luckily, everything else is all in place so i'm not stressed out about anything - we finished decorating the apartment and the nursery and the hospital is just across the road and i plan to ask my gynae a list of questions when i see him next week - so i'll have a bit of peace of mind. and luckily i'm not involved in any work projects at the moment (which can also be quite boring - but i've been using the extra time to do lots of extra research on baby-related stuff) so that's also one less thing to worry about.
i just hope jigglyboo doesn't spring any surprises cos i know my bday celebration is coming up; don't want R and my friends to end up bringing the cake to the hospital haha. and i'm still looking forward to the BBW sale (i need to stock up for the days that i'll be holed up at home!), just that i probably won't stay as long as i did last year. i suppose a mid-month delivery would be just nice. but hey, as long as jigglyboo comes out healthy and bouncing, i'll be more than thankful.
four.
growing up, i'd always thought that my siblings and i weren't very close, compared to the siblings my friends had. we were such different individuals and pretty much did our own thing. we didn't talk about any personal stuff, or share any secrets.
but as we've grown older (we're in the 20-early 30s range), i've come to realise that just because we don't talk as much as other siblings do, doensn't mean we're not as close. we meet up over breakfasts, lunches and dinners - just because. we were brought up by parents who aren't really sentimental about having family gatherings and whatnots so it's kind of difficult to get all of us together at one place at one time, but the time we do spend together - is actually quality time. we talk about what's going on with our lives, the places we've traveled to and eventhough it may not be obvious in words, we always support each other. what i've come to appreciate is, that we've always been honest with eaach other. we don't really sugar-coat stuff. most things don't bother us, but when the time calls for important stuff to get done, we get it done. i guess we're all headstrong and independent in our own way - but we've always been more of do-ers than talkers -and we make an effort to come together and support each other.
we have our dad to thank for the fact that none of us are shy about voicing out our opinions, but at the same time it's balanced by knowing when to hold back and keep our cool, which is what our mom has always taught us.
so these days, i appreciate my siblings more - for their independence, for their straight-forward ways, for all their good features and also obvious flaws. because i see some other friends who struggle to have straight conversations with theirs - and i'm glad that the connection between my siblings and i are so uncomplicated. for some reason, nowadays, that connection has just come naturally to us. and for that, i will always be grateful.
but as we've grown older (we're in the 20-early 30s range), i've come to realise that just because we don't talk as much as other siblings do, doensn't mean we're not as close. we meet up over breakfasts, lunches and dinners - just because. we were brought up by parents who aren't really sentimental about having family gatherings and whatnots so it's kind of difficult to get all of us together at one place at one time, but the time we do spend together - is actually quality time. we talk about what's going on with our lives, the places we've traveled to and eventhough it may not be obvious in words, we always support each other. what i've come to appreciate is, that we've always been honest with eaach other. we don't really sugar-coat stuff. most things don't bother us, but when the time calls for important stuff to get done, we get it done. i guess we're all headstrong and independent in our own way - but we've always been more of do-ers than talkers -and we make an effort to come together and support each other.
we have our dad to thank for the fact that none of us are shy about voicing out our opinions, but at the same time it's balanced by knowing when to hold back and keep our cool, which is what our mom has always taught us.
so these days, i appreciate my siblings more - for their independence, for their straight-forward ways, for all their good features and also obvious flaws. because i see some other friends who struggle to have straight conversations with theirs - and i'm glad that the connection between my siblings and i are so uncomplicated. for some reason, nowadays, that connection has just come naturally to us. and for that, i will always be grateful.
Monday, November 25, 2013
past. future.
when i look at my old blog, i feel like it's miles and miles apart compared to this one, in terms of content. my old blog used to be about all the feelings i had at the time, expressed in more vague and subtle ways. it also had a lot of posts about current issues; be it political or social stuff (guess i don't need to do any more of those kind of posts since we have twitter now). i feel like this blog is more direct and straight-forward. no hidden meanings; just a recap of the ongoings of my life. i'm not sure which of the above is better - but i feel like i'm in such a different place writing this, compared to where i was before - in terms of emotions.
the easiest thing to pinpoint is that i live a pretty drama-free life these days. i put it down to age, haha. as you grow older, i guess you just have less time for it. i mean, sure i have personal things going on with friends and family - but i try not to let it affect me as much as it used to. and being married has helped put me on a more stable ground - it's a great feeling to know that you always have someone that has your back.
anyways, it's gonna be my birthday next week. i don't really celebrate it in elaborate ways - normally just with friends. and probably a family dinner if my parents happen to be in town. but this year, i'm just too exhausted to even think about celebrating. by then, i'll be like 2 weeks away from popping (i just hope jigglyboo decides to stay in until i get my book-shopping done at BBW).
i'm in week 35 now. i know, i can't believe it myself. sometimes i feel like time passed by so fast, then other times, i feel like i just can't wait to get this over with and meet our little jigglyboo. pregnancy is tiring, for sure, but with the exception of the first trimester, my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. i'm still driving myself to work everyday and hanging out with friends occasionally (although i limit these to close friends - due to time and finances) and i still pretty much cook dinner most days. but pregnancy has also been made easier due to the fact that R is an awesome partner who pretty much takes care of me (midnight and early morening kitchen trips to get me a glass of cold water, foot rubs, back rubs and much more) and tries to help out with everything that he can. i know a lot of friends say i'm lucky to have such a supportive partner, and trust me, i know i'm a lucky, lucky girl.
i think throughout pregnancy and also post-delivery, you just gotta keep surrounding yourself with positive people and avoid all the negative ones. it might sound ridiculous but hormones just get the better of you sometimes. so, sometimes, if you know a family or friend is the type that makes you go crazy on normal days, it's just better to spend less time with them instead of getting yourself all worked up and stressed out. i definitely learned that lesson the hard way.
so we finally got around to finishing all of our shopping - both for the apartment and also for jigglyboo and myself. i'm actually quite proud of what we've managed to do. we've rearranged the furniture in the apartment, and also spring cleaned the guestroom - and yesterday, we finally finished with jigglyboo's nursery room. sure, we had to spend a little bit extra on getting all the extra stuff we needed - but honestly, it's not something that we can't cover back in the next month (only because i refuse to dig into my savings unless it's absoutely necessary). now, we just need to focus on cleaning up the kitchen and our own master bedroom. but i love the progress so far, our little cozy apartment finally feels like home now :)
in between of working on our apartment project, thanks to R, we also managed to score some cheap flight tickets for a holiday mid-next year. we thought 6 months was reasonable enough to start bringing the baby to travel hehe and it's a place where i've always wanted to visit - so i'm pretty excited. now, just gotta plan for our finances to accommmodate our travel plans and we also need to purchase an extra infant ticket for jigglyboo once she's actually born hehe.
on the apartment project; we spent the whole of last saturday out and about (sunday was mostly spent at home; rohe had a 10KM run in the morning) - from our usual baby shop to the babies' section in a department store. we also made a couple of trips to IKEA in the last few weeks. luckily, we could focus our money and energy on just getting the additional items on our list and also extra stuff to spruce up the apartment and jigglyboo's nursery - since we'd gotten pretty much all of the other baby & mom stuff/equipment shopping done in the earlier months. prioritizing and organisation is really key in preparing for a baby's arrival.
speaking of organisation, i just got started on my hospital bag for labour time (i guess 35 weeks is kind of late but honestly i wasn't too worried cos the hospital is just across the street from us, so whatever i forgot, R could just run home and get them haha). now i just gotta do some surveys for all this post-baby stuff; "urut" ladies, confinement plans and such. honestly, i'm not that bothered because i was brought up by a family that doesn't seem to care much about all this stuff either - as long as i stick to a healthy diet (which i try to do anyway - even not being pregnant) i should be alright. but i guess hiring a masseuse lady for a few days probably won't do any harm. and my mom will be around to help out with the baby after she comes - of which i'm not worried either because my mom cooks healthy food anyway haha.
so i guess the next few weeks will just be a waiting game for all of us. i feel jigglyboo squirming around all the time now - i hope she's doing okay. but i have an appointment with my gynae coming up next week anyway, so hopefully he'll be able to help alleviate some of my concerns (not that i have much, apart from the fact that i hate pain so labour just isn't my idea of fun).
let's hope december turns out to be a good month :)
the easiest thing to pinpoint is that i live a pretty drama-free life these days. i put it down to age, haha. as you grow older, i guess you just have less time for it. i mean, sure i have personal things going on with friends and family - but i try not to let it affect me as much as it used to. and being married has helped put me on a more stable ground - it's a great feeling to know that you always have someone that has your back.
anyways, it's gonna be my birthday next week. i don't really celebrate it in elaborate ways - normally just with friends. and probably a family dinner if my parents happen to be in town. but this year, i'm just too exhausted to even think about celebrating. by then, i'll be like 2 weeks away from popping (i just hope jigglyboo decides to stay in until i get my book-shopping done at BBW).
i'm in week 35 now. i know, i can't believe it myself. sometimes i feel like time passed by so fast, then other times, i feel like i just can't wait to get this over with and meet our little jigglyboo. pregnancy is tiring, for sure, but with the exception of the first trimester, my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. i'm still driving myself to work everyday and hanging out with friends occasionally (although i limit these to close friends - due to time and finances) and i still pretty much cook dinner most days. but pregnancy has also been made easier due to the fact that R is an awesome partner who pretty much takes care of me (midnight and early morening kitchen trips to get me a glass of cold water, foot rubs, back rubs and much more) and tries to help out with everything that he can. i know a lot of friends say i'm lucky to have such a supportive partner, and trust me, i know i'm a lucky, lucky girl.
i think throughout pregnancy and also post-delivery, you just gotta keep surrounding yourself with positive people and avoid all the negative ones. it might sound ridiculous but hormones just get the better of you sometimes. so, sometimes, if you know a family or friend is the type that makes you go crazy on normal days, it's just better to spend less time with them instead of getting yourself all worked up and stressed out. i definitely learned that lesson the hard way.
so we finally got around to finishing all of our shopping - both for the apartment and also for jigglyboo and myself. i'm actually quite proud of what we've managed to do. we've rearranged the furniture in the apartment, and also spring cleaned the guestroom - and yesterday, we finally finished with jigglyboo's nursery room. sure, we had to spend a little bit extra on getting all the extra stuff we needed - but honestly, it's not something that we can't cover back in the next month (only because i refuse to dig into my savings unless it's absoutely necessary). now, we just need to focus on cleaning up the kitchen and our own master bedroom. but i love the progress so far, our little cozy apartment finally feels like home now :)
in between of working on our apartment project, thanks to R, we also managed to score some cheap flight tickets for a holiday mid-next year. we thought 6 months was reasonable enough to start bringing the baby to travel hehe and it's a place where i've always wanted to visit - so i'm pretty excited. now, just gotta plan for our finances to accommmodate our travel plans and we also need to purchase an extra infant ticket for jigglyboo once she's actually born hehe.
on the apartment project; we spent the whole of last saturday out and about (sunday was mostly spent at home; rohe had a 10KM run in the morning) - from our usual baby shop to the babies' section in a department store. we also made a couple of trips to IKEA in the last few weeks. luckily, we could focus our money and energy on just getting the additional items on our list and also extra stuff to spruce up the apartment and jigglyboo's nursery - since we'd gotten pretty much all of the other baby & mom stuff/equipment shopping done in the earlier months. prioritizing and organisation is really key in preparing for a baby's arrival.
speaking of organisation, i just got started on my hospital bag for labour time (i guess 35 weeks is kind of late but honestly i wasn't too worried cos the hospital is just across the street from us, so whatever i forgot, R could just run home and get them haha). now i just gotta do some surveys for all this post-baby stuff; "urut" ladies, confinement plans and such. honestly, i'm not that bothered because i was brought up by a family that doesn't seem to care much about all this stuff either - as long as i stick to a healthy diet (which i try to do anyway - even not being pregnant) i should be alright. but i guess hiring a masseuse lady for a few days probably won't do any harm. and my mom will be around to help out with the baby after she comes - of which i'm not worried either because my mom cooks healthy food anyway haha.
so i guess the next few weeks will just be a waiting game for all of us. i feel jigglyboo squirming around all the time now - i hope she's doing okay. but i have an appointment with my gynae coming up next week anyway, so hopefully he'll be able to help alleviate some of my concerns (not that i have much, apart from the fact that i hate pain so labour just isn't my idea of fun).
let's hope december turns out to be a good month :)
Sunday, November 10, 2013
beep.
the last week has been pretty busy.
there was a public holiday, and then got caught up doing the year-end performance review at work, followed by three days at at teambuilding session in PD.
teambuilding wasn't so bad, met new people and got lucky with a great roomie. learned some interesting stuff, as you always do when you're at these teambuilding sessions. but i really did like our trainers/facilitators there - they were definitely encouraging and positive - somewhat opposite to what we experienced during the teambuilding for my old work place. but then agan, maybe their objectives were different. but it was nice to be treated like adults and not to get yelled at all the time. also, maybe the crowd was slightly older so the approach was different. and the activities weren't as super physical. still, definitely felt the after-effects of my tired body by the end of the session on saturday noon.
R was kind enough to pick me up at the teambuilding site so i didn't have to head back to our office in KL in the bus/van. right after leaving, R and i grabbed late lunch with my sister (i really don't see her that much eventhough we only live 5 mins away from each other - she's super busy with work, and i just don't go out much these days). also satisfied my choc ice blended craving with a choc chip muffin post-lunch. i don't know why i was craving that. maybe because i'd been surviving on hotel food for the past few days. anyway, we had to spend some time at the tyre shop after that - all four of my tyres were due for a change plus all that balancing and alignment that goes with it. this month's budget has seriously been damaged - had to spend quite a lot on my routine car service on monday then the new tyres cost another chunk. oh, well, gotta do what you gotta do.
sunday was super un-productive. R made breakfast for us while i stayed in bed most of the morning. then just lazed around in front of the tv. R went out for a few hours in the evening while i continued to laze around and eventually dozed off in front of the tv, heh. finally decided to get up around 5ish and cooked dinner - my homemade comfort meal of veggie fried rice with fried chicken. yums. R got home and we had dinner together and watched some tv til finally calling it a day.
wasn't really feeling good this morning - didn't really sleep well. kept tossing and turning the whole night, this tummy is definitely making me uncomfortable lately. i can feel jigglyboo squirming around and sometimes it just jolts me. but i feel you, jigglyboo. you must be feeling pretty uncomfirtable too with the space getting smaller as you grow bigger in there. i feel like my tummy is getting tighter every day, which makes sense since i'm into my 33rd week now. can you believe i'm already at 33 weeks? phew. when i saw my gynae last week, he was like, "oh, so we're almost nearing the due date, right?" i'm trying not to freak out, cos i totally don't feel ready for this. i'm nervous, scared, and seriously don't know what to expect. i'm normally good at not panicking but giving birth definitely feels like a totally different ballgame.
seriously, its crazy to think that God Willing and all goes well, in five to six weeks, we'll have jigglyboo in our arms. i can't wait to meet her.
i'm guessing that work for the next few weeks won't be that busy since the majority of the team has gone out for fieldwork - and won't be back for another six weeks. but i'm just trying to take it easy anyway - both at the office and with my social life.
have a review meeting with the boss after lunch today, though. don't have much to say but hoping that it'll go well, fingers crossed.
there was a public holiday, and then got caught up doing the year-end performance review at work, followed by three days at at teambuilding session in PD.
teambuilding wasn't so bad, met new people and got lucky with a great roomie. learned some interesting stuff, as you always do when you're at these teambuilding sessions. but i really did like our trainers/facilitators there - they were definitely encouraging and positive - somewhat opposite to what we experienced during the teambuilding for my old work place. but then agan, maybe their objectives were different. but it was nice to be treated like adults and not to get yelled at all the time. also, maybe the crowd was slightly older so the approach was different. and the activities weren't as super physical. still, definitely felt the after-effects of my tired body by the end of the session on saturday noon.
R was kind enough to pick me up at the teambuilding site so i didn't have to head back to our office in KL in the bus/van. right after leaving, R and i grabbed late lunch with my sister (i really don't see her that much eventhough we only live 5 mins away from each other - she's super busy with work, and i just don't go out much these days). also satisfied my choc ice blended craving with a choc chip muffin post-lunch. i don't know why i was craving that. maybe because i'd been surviving on hotel food for the past few days. anyway, we had to spend some time at the tyre shop after that - all four of my tyres were due for a change plus all that balancing and alignment that goes with it. this month's budget has seriously been damaged - had to spend quite a lot on my routine car service on monday then the new tyres cost another chunk. oh, well, gotta do what you gotta do.
sunday was super un-productive. R made breakfast for us while i stayed in bed most of the morning. then just lazed around in front of the tv. R went out for a few hours in the evening while i continued to laze around and eventually dozed off in front of the tv, heh. finally decided to get up around 5ish and cooked dinner - my homemade comfort meal of veggie fried rice with fried chicken. yums. R got home and we had dinner together and watched some tv til finally calling it a day.
wasn't really feeling good this morning - didn't really sleep well. kept tossing and turning the whole night, this tummy is definitely making me uncomfortable lately. i can feel jigglyboo squirming around and sometimes it just jolts me. but i feel you, jigglyboo. you must be feeling pretty uncomfirtable too with the space getting smaller as you grow bigger in there. i feel like my tummy is getting tighter every day, which makes sense since i'm into my 33rd week now. can you believe i'm already at 33 weeks? phew. when i saw my gynae last week, he was like, "oh, so we're almost nearing the due date, right?" i'm trying not to freak out, cos i totally don't feel ready for this. i'm nervous, scared, and seriously don't know what to expect. i'm normally good at not panicking but giving birth definitely feels like a totally different ballgame.
seriously, its crazy to think that God Willing and all goes well, in five to six weeks, we'll have jigglyboo in our arms. i can't wait to meet her.
i'm guessing that work for the next few weeks won't be that busy since the majority of the team has gone out for fieldwork - and won't be back for another six weeks. but i'm just trying to take it easy anyway - both at the office and with my social life.
have a review meeting with the boss after lunch today, though. don't have much to say but hoping that it'll go well, fingers crossed.
Monday, October 28, 2013
get.away
had a nice break over my extended weekend. it wasn't as tiring as i thought it would be, since we basically took it easy. but i think R was more tired than i was since he drove everywhere and he was also traveling for work a lot.
the hotel was lovely, and we had a good time food-hunting and doing some sightseeing and shopping. it was more of a relaxing getaway anyway. also managed to squeeze in some time to see one of my best girlfriends who lives in the area. so all in all, everyone had a pretty good time.
gotta remind myself to stick to my budget real tight this month. i've been doing okay financial-wise since i started my detailed budget this year. savings get moved to the investment account, and thankfully funds are never short before the next payday rolls around. but apart from all the normal monthly expenses, this month i've got all these additional stuff; the car is due for service, and we need to cover back the expenses that we paid for the building management fees last month. also trying to save up some extra moolah for december - in anticipation of the BigBadWolf booksale. i'm really looking forward to it. i know i'll be like in the last few weeks of my pregnancy by then, but i don't care - i'm sure people will make way for pregnant people haha.
i find that the one weakness i have in terms of keeping up with my budget though, are my grocery-shopping trips. i used to go to BIG all the time, but then i'd want to grab everything from off the shelves, so i try to limit my trips there to when i run out of imported goodies. we normally do our bi-weekly shopping trips at this supermarket in ttdi. everyone thinks its a bit far but parking there is very convenient and most importantly, i don't have to venture into a mall to do my grocery shopping.
now that work and life is a bit more balanced, i have more time to actually sit down and plan our dinners and google recipes and whatnots, which i enjoy a lot. we normally pack a light breakfast of sandwiches, fruits, or yogurts in the morning to eat at work, and i normally head out and have a sub for lunch and i'll be home in time to cook our dinner. so it all pretty much works out. what normally throws my budget is our impromptu dinners outside with family/friends so nowadays i try to make a conscious decision to stay at home more, and plan our outings.
the hotel was lovely, and we had a good time food-hunting and doing some sightseeing and shopping. it was more of a relaxing getaway anyway. also managed to squeeze in some time to see one of my best girlfriends who lives in the area. so all in all, everyone had a pretty good time.
gotta remind myself to stick to my budget real tight this month. i've been doing okay financial-wise since i started my detailed budget this year. savings get moved to the investment account, and thankfully funds are never short before the next payday rolls around. but apart from all the normal monthly expenses, this month i've got all these additional stuff; the car is due for service, and we need to cover back the expenses that we paid for the building management fees last month. also trying to save up some extra moolah for december - in anticipation of the BigBadWolf booksale. i'm really looking forward to it. i know i'll be like in the last few weeks of my pregnancy by then, but i don't care - i'm sure people will make way for pregnant people haha.
i find that the one weakness i have in terms of keeping up with my budget though, are my grocery-shopping trips. i used to go to BIG all the time, but then i'd want to grab everything from off the shelves, so i try to limit my trips there to when i run out of imported goodies. we normally do our bi-weekly shopping trips at this supermarket in ttdi. everyone thinks its a bit far but parking there is very convenient and most importantly, i don't have to venture into a mall to do my grocery shopping.
now that work and life is a bit more balanced, i have more time to actually sit down and plan our dinners and google recipes and whatnots, which i enjoy a lot. we normally pack a light breakfast of sandwiches, fruits, or yogurts in the morning to eat at work, and i normally head out and have a sub for lunch and i'll be home in time to cook our dinner. so it all pretty much works out. what normally throws my budget is our impromptu dinners outside with family/friends so nowadays i try to make a conscious decision to stay at home more, and plan our outings.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
boo.
well, hello, hello.
i havent been super-busy lately but just taking it easy in my last few months of pregnancy. the bump is getting huge now and i keep worrying about putting on more weight because then my gynae will keep nagging on me - but the thing is i don't even eat like crazy. i pretty much eat healthy most of the time, but i guess the bread from my almost daily subway sandwich is taking its toll. but i figured a subway sadnwich is better than just chomping on fast food or oily food for lunch right? and R and i always try to cook ourselves dinners on weekdays after work.
last weekend was pretty relaxed. i stayed at home most of the time. just went out on saturday noon to run some errands - which included picking up the yummy lemon cake with strawberry creamcheese frosting that my SIL made to order for a birthday party later (their business is actually doing really well!) - then bought late lunch and headed back home to just chill while R painted another side of the baby crib. yes, the project is still ongoing haha who knew it would take so much effort to paint a crib? but i like the new color (white) - it gives the crib a totally different vibe to it.
most of the other baby equipment is pretty much ready - we just need to assemble everything later on. but next month we still have to go buy the playpen and some baby clothes for jigglyboo (can you believe we havent bought a single clothing item for her yet? hehe) so maybe we'll do that one of the following weekends. i only want to go when we have the budget for it cos i know i'll fall in love with all the cute stuff and want to buy em all haha.and we should probably get all the remaining stuff in november anyway cos by december i'll be pretty huge to go out much - and i really wanna use december funds for the upcoming Big Bad Wolf booksale! can't wait to go crazy there - i had such a good time last year - i actually went twice.
anyway, been pretty tied up with work - not super-busy but it keeps the time from moving too slowly hehe - and i guess i gotta wrap up some stuff before i have my extended wkend off (i'm taking friday and monday off). we're heading back to the east coast - gonna spend a night in terengganu - my mom and youngest sis have been wanting to go for awhile - so i figured R and i would bring them. we go that area of the country on a regular basis for our food-trips anyway, so might as well go for an extended trip. now seems a perfect time for a lil R&R anyway.
well, gotta get back to work. and jigglyboo has been kicking and doing somersaults like crazy lately. i actually am looking forward to having her around in our lives soon enough. of course, there's the situation with childcare but i guess we'll have to solve that issue when we cross it.
i havent been super-busy lately but just taking it easy in my last few months of pregnancy. the bump is getting huge now and i keep worrying about putting on more weight because then my gynae will keep nagging on me - but the thing is i don't even eat like crazy. i pretty much eat healthy most of the time, but i guess the bread from my almost daily subway sandwich is taking its toll. but i figured a subway sadnwich is better than just chomping on fast food or oily food for lunch right? and R and i always try to cook ourselves dinners on weekdays after work.
last weekend was pretty relaxed. i stayed at home most of the time. just went out on saturday noon to run some errands - which included picking up the yummy lemon cake with strawberry creamcheese frosting that my SIL made to order for a birthday party later (their business is actually doing really well!) - then bought late lunch and headed back home to just chill while R painted another side of the baby crib. yes, the project is still ongoing haha who knew it would take so much effort to paint a crib? but i like the new color (white) - it gives the crib a totally different vibe to it.
most of the other baby equipment is pretty much ready - we just need to assemble everything later on. but next month we still have to go buy the playpen and some baby clothes for jigglyboo (can you believe we havent bought a single clothing item for her yet? hehe) so maybe we'll do that one of the following weekends. i only want to go when we have the budget for it cos i know i'll fall in love with all the cute stuff and want to buy em all haha.and we should probably get all the remaining stuff in november anyway cos by december i'll be pretty huge to go out much - and i really wanna use december funds for the upcoming Big Bad Wolf booksale! can't wait to go crazy there - i had such a good time last year - i actually went twice.
anyway, been pretty tied up with work - not super-busy but it keeps the time from moving too slowly hehe - and i guess i gotta wrap up some stuff before i have my extended wkend off (i'm taking friday and monday off). we're heading back to the east coast - gonna spend a night in terengganu - my mom and youngest sis have been wanting to go for awhile - so i figured R and i would bring them. we go that area of the country on a regular basis for our food-trips anyway, so might as well go for an extended trip. now seems a perfect time for a lil R&R anyway.
well, gotta get back to work. and jigglyboo has been kicking and doing somersaults like crazy lately. i actually am looking forward to having her around in our lives soon enough. of course, there's the situation with childcare but i guess we'll have to solve that issue when we cross it.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
world of our own
just a little something to share on why reading is important.
my parents brought us up with a love for books. we were always surrounded by books - they read to us and they always bought them for us.
so in the words of Mr Neil Gaiman himself...
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/15/neil-gaiman-future-libraries-reading-daydreaming
my parents brought us up with a love for books. we were always surrounded by books - they read to us and they always bought them for us.
so in the words of Mr Neil Gaiman himself...
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/15/neil-gaiman-future-libraries-reading-daydreaming
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
dream. faith.
"it's true that you need a teacher for everything but one day you will be a teacher too. so what are you going to teach others when the time comes?"
if you're a friend of mine who's also connected with me on social media, then you would know that i tweet and share artcles on a lot of random stuff. one of the accounts that i follow is "twt_buku", which literally means, "twt_book". the above quote is something that was tweeted from the current curator (which changes on a weekly basis).
i found the statement to resonate within me.
yes, most of the things we have come to know in life was at one point, learned from or taught by someone. and so a cycle begins. if you had the fortune to be brought up by parents that were financially sound, chances are you too would be good at handling your personal finances. if you were sent to school that was dominated by mindless, law-breaking students, chances are you'd get mixed up with the wrong crowd too. if you were brought up by parents that taught you compassionate religion in practice, chances are that you would turn out to be someone who understood that kindness and religious teaching go hand-in-hand.
yes, the likely choice would be presented to you. the easy thing to do would be to just follow that path laid before you. but there is also another choice; another option. there is the choice that you would decide to go seek knowledge and perspective from others and learn to do critical thinking on your own. you would weigh the pros and cons of each choice and decide which best suited you. you would question, you would challenge. and you would learn that the easy option is not necessarily the best option.
and so whatever you've heard from your parents, relatives or just built-in knowledge that you grew up with - you would learn to mix that with things you would learn on your own via books, discussions and such. sure, if faith was an integral part of your upbringing - then you would use that as a basis of your foundation. but this doesn't mean that you can just forego additional knowledge.
anyhow, i'm going off tangent.
what i'm trying to say is, just because you were brought up in a certain way, doesn't mean you have to end up spending the rest of your life that way too. you shouldn't be held back by these confines and limitations. just because a person's parents are racist, this doesn't mean that you should end up being a racist too. sure, it would skewer your early perspective but once you start meeting more and more people and being involved in more discussions with different people, your point of view would probably start to change too. but in order for this to happen, you need to be able to approach the issue with an open mind. and by an open mind, i don't mean in a hippie, liberal sort of way; i just mean in a non-judgmental way.
all my life, i've never thought of being a teacher. but when i read the above quote, it occurred to me that in some instances, i am my own teacher. and once jigglyboo enters this world, i will be playing a part as her teacher too. and i worry so much about this. it's a huge responsibility. i don't want to bring a child into this world and go, "oh, whatever worked for me, will work for her too."
it's a different world nowadays. the challenges she will face will be different than mine. the things that might not be important to me will probably be important in her future. the world will keep changing and evolving. and i need to make sure that i change and evolve along with it. so i hope that i will be more patient and more understanding to take on this enormous responsibility of being a parent.
i want jigglyboo to be well-equipped to take on the world. i want to raise her to be independent but i also want her to be able to see other people's perspectives. i want her to be okay with her studies, but it's more important to me that she is aware of what is happening in the world around her. i want her to be able to stand her ground without forsaking kindness. i want her to be open to new experiences; and unafraid of what the world has to offer.
i know this seems like a tall order - and as a parent, we have to let our kids make their own mistakes. so at the end of the day, i hope to be a parent that allows this. and to be the parent that will be there to catch her when she falls. but most of all, i hope to be the kind of parent that teaches her that the best way is not always the easiest way. there is no subtitute to hard work. there are no limits of what you can achieve - limits are only what you impose upon yourself - anything is possible.
so dream big, work hard and have faith.
if you're a friend of mine who's also connected with me on social media, then you would know that i tweet and share artcles on a lot of random stuff. one of the accounts that i follow is "twt_buku", which literally means, "twt_book". the above quote is something that was tweeted from the current curator (which changes on a weekly basis).
i found the statement to resonate within me.
yes, most of the things we have come to know in life was at one point, learned from or taught by someone. and so a cycle begins. if you had the fortune to be brought up by parents that were financially sound, chances are you too would be good at handling your personal finances. if you were sent to school that was dominated by mindless, law-breaking students, chances are you'd get mixed up with the wrong crowd too. if you were brought up by parents that taught you compassionate religion in practice, chances are that you would turn out to be someone who understood that kindness and religious teaching go hand-in-hand.
yes, the likely choice would be presented to you. the easy thing to do would be to just follow that path laid before you. but there is also another choice; another option. there is the choice that you would decide to go seek knowledge and perspective from others and learn to do critical thinking on your own. you would weigh the pros and cons of each choice and decide which best suited you. you would question, you would challenge. and you would learn that the easy option is not necessarily the best option.
and so whatever you've heard from your parents, relatives or just built-in knowledge that you grew up with - you would learn to mix that with things you would learn on your own via books, discussions and such. sure, if faith was an integral part of your upbringing - then you would use that as a basis of your foundation. but this doesn't mean that you can just forego additional knowledge.
anyhow, i'm going off tangent.
what i'm trying to say is, just because you were brought up in a certain way, doesn't mean you have to end up spending the rest of your life that way too. you shouldn't be held back by these confines and limitations. just because a person's parents are racist, this doesn't mean that you should end up being a racist too. sure, it would skewer your early perspective but once you start meeting more and more people and being involved in more discussions with different people, your point of view would probably start to change too. but in order for this to happen, you need to be able to approach the issue with an open mind. and by an open mind, i don't mean in a hippie, liberal sort of way; i just mean in a non-judgmental way.
all my life, i've never thought of being a teacher. but when i read the above quote, it occurred to me that in some instances, i am my own teacher. and once jigglyboo enters this world, i will be playing a part as her teacher too. and i worry so much about this. it's a huge responsibility. i don't want to bring a child into this world and go, "oh, whatever worked for me, will work for her too."
it's a different world nowadays. the challenges she will face will be different than mine. the things that might not be important to me will probably be important in her future. the world will keep changing and evolving. and i need to make sure that i change and evolve along with it. so i hope that i will be more patient and more understanding to take on this enormous responsibility of being a parent.
i want jigglyboo to be well-equipped to take on the world. i want to raise her to be independent but i also want her to be able to see other people's perspectives. i want her to be okay with her studies, but it's more important to me that she is aware of what is happening in the world around her. i want her to be able to stand her ground without forsaking kindness. i want her to be open to new experiences; and unafraid of what the world has to offer.
i know this seems like a tall order - and as a parent, we have to let our kids make their own mistakes. so at the end of the day, i hope to be a parent that allows this. and to be the parent that will be there to catch her when she falls. but most of all, i hope to be the kind of parent that teaches her that the best way is not always the easiest way. there is no subtitute to hard work. there are no limits of what you can achieve - limits are only what you impose upon yourself - anything is possible.
so dream big, work hard and have faith.
week.end
despite all the drama that pre-empted the extended holiday weekend, it was a surprisingly relaxed break. four days off never felt so good. well, for me, that is. rohe spent a lot of time traveling in between his hometown and mine, where i was at for the whole four days.
the original plan was actually for me to follow him but with my sis in tow and me not feeling very comfortable with all the traveling we'd have to do, we decided that it'd be better for me to just stay in my hometown while R would just come back to K after spending a couple of days with his family in M. we both knew it would take a toll on his energy but it was the best plan that we could come up with, both energy-wise and finance-wise.
anyhow after all the drama that my parents (along with the other sis) just upped and left us during the holidays - which i know a lot of people don't understand how it could happen, even my neighbours, but then we've always been an unconventional family - it actually worked out for the best. i got to just chill out at home without any stress from my dad - altho i did miss my mom- but R and my sis were a big help at home in terms of keeping the house neat and feeding the cats and fishies and watering the plants and all.
the journey back to K on fri night took us longer than usual - we eventually arrived at 3.30am saturday morning! after having breakfast together by the beach, R and his brother who had come along to accompany him, headed off on their journey back to their hometown. i spent the rest of my saturday basically doing nothing - just watching tv, reading and catching up with sleep. just went out for awhile to buy late lunch and had friday's leftovers for dinner. i conked out early and woke up a bit past midnight and then had trouble going back to sleep. bleugh.
after feeding the cats early sunday morning, went back to bed for a nap. brought the sis out for brunch, feeling starving haha. loaded ourselves with food and we were good for the day. after just chilling out at home for the rest of the day, met up with girlfriends who were also back in town for the hols in the evening. as usual, went to our fave laksa and keropok place. R arrived back in K rght before dinner time. so we brought the sis ou for dinner at one of my fave dinner spot. had my fill of chicken ceasar salad along with some pasta. topped it off with their yummy banoffee pie - i should really learn how to make those things.
monday morning, R and i headed off to the banks to settle my banking stuff. the first bank we went to was so full, even though it had only opened for like half an hour! so decided to try our luck at the other branch, and we got lucky - got attended to in a short while and everything was done quite fast. then headed off to another bank and managed to settle some stuff there too, without even having to go see anyone hehe. so happy that we decided to head out early and got all the stuff out of the way. we had kenny rogers take-away for late lunch - i was craving haha - and spent the rest of the day at home. went out later that night just to go to the drive-thru to grab some dinner.
i know, i know. i normally cook a lot when we're in kl. but when i'm back in my hometown, the feeling to cook just sort of deserts me, haha. or maybe it's just cos it's easier to eat out in kuantan. no traffic, and it's also not that expensive.
so on the day of eidul adha yesterday, when everyone else was stuffing their faces with lemang and ketupat and rendang and whatnot, i just went digging in the fridge to see what we had - and finally just cooked some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns for breakfast, teehee. oh well, it did the job. we headed back to kl sometime noon, and had late lunch before sending the sis off back to her college. then went to grab coffee (in my case, iced choc) with cake with A for some catching up. ended up at home around dinner time but we were pretty stuffed. but that didn't stop us from having some of the ketupat and rendang that R's mom had his brother pass to us later that night, heheh.
anyway, that's my recap for the last few days. pretty mundane stuff, i know. but i enjoyed it. this weekend should be a mixture of fun and relaxation - gonna be celebrating one of my best friend's birthday. can't wait for the cake and laughter that will ensue.
the original plan was actually for me to follow him but with my sis in tow and me not feeling very comfortable with all the traveling we'd have to do, we decided that it'd be better for me to just stay in my hometown while R would just come back to K after spending a couple of days with his family in M. we both knew it would take a toll on his energy but it was the best plan that we could come up with, both energy-wise and finance-wise.
anyhow after all the drama that my parents (along with the other sis) just upped and left us during the holidays - which i know a lot of people don't understand how it could happen, even my neighbours, but then we've always been an unconventional family - it actually worked out for the best. i got to just chill out at home without any stress from my dad - altho i did miss my mom- but R and my sis were a big help at home in terms of keeping the house neat and feeding the cats and fishies and watering the plants and all.
the journey back to K on fri night took us longer than usual - we eventually arrived at 3.30am saturday morning! after having breakfast together by the beach, R and his brother who had come along to accompany him, headed off on their journey back to their hometown. i spent the rest of my saturday basically doing nothing - just watching tv, reading and catching up with sleep. just went out for awhile to buy late lunch and had friday's leftovers for dinner. i conked out early and woke up a bit past midnight and then had trouble going back to sleep. bleugh.
after feeding the cats early sunday morning, went back to bed for a nap. brought the sis out for brunch, feeling starving haha. loaded ourselves with food and we were good for the day. after just chilling out at home for the rest of the day, met up with girlfriends who were also back in town for the hols in the evening. as usual, went to our fave laksa and keropok place. R arrived back in K rght before dinner time. so we brought the sis ou for dinner at one of my fave dinner spot. had my fill of chicken ceasar salad along with some pasta. topped it off with their yummy banoffee pie - i should really learn how to make those things.
monday morning, R and i headed off to the banks to settle my banking stuff. the first bank we went to was so full, even though it had only opened for like half an hour! so decided to try our luck at the other branch, and we got lucky - got attended to in a short while and everything was done quite fast. then headed off to another bank and managed to settle some stuff there too, without even having to go see anyone hehe. so happy that we decided to head out early and got all the stuff out of the way. we had kenny rogers take-away for late lunch - i was craving haha - and spent the rest of the day at home. went out later that night just to go to the drive-thru to grab some dinner.
i know, i know. i normally cook a lot when we're in kl. but when i'm back in my hometown, the feeling to cook just sort of deserts me, haha. or maybe it's just cos it's easier to eat out in kuantan. no traffic, and it's also not that expensive.
so on the day of eidul adha yesterday, when everyone else was stuffing their faces with lemang and ketupat and rendang and whatnot, i just went digging in the fridge to see what we had - and finally just cooked some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns for breakfast, teehee. oh well, it did the job. we headed back to kl sometime noon, and had late lunch before sending the sis off back to her college. then went to grab coffee (in my case, iced choc) with cake with A for some catching up. ended up at home around dinner time but we were pretty stuffed. but that didn't stop us from having some of the ketupat and rendang that R's mom had his brother pass to us later that night, heheh.
anyway, that's my recap for the last few days. pretty mundane stuff, i know. but i enjoyed it. this weekend should be a mixture of fun and relaxation - gonna be celebrating one of my best friend's birthday. can't wait for the cake and laughter that will ensue.
Monday, October 7, 2013
space.
took time off from work in the afternoon for my monthly gynae appointment yesterday.
prof said i need to cut back on my carbs and start putting an emphasis on proteins instead. he's worried jigglyboo will grow too big for me to deliver normally. fine. the thing is, i don't even eat that much rice. but i do love me some pasta and of course, potatoes are my downfalls. fries, chips, everything. sigh. so i guess i gotta start planning dinners of grilled chicken salad and steaks. back in aussie i used to love having salmon for dinner, easy and yummy - but its so freakin expensive here. double sigh.
anyway, apart from my pregnancy weight gain, prof said everything else looks good. trying not to think too much of the fact that we only have like 10 weeks left til we meet jigglyboo. it's exciting and intimidating all at the same time.
after our appointment, R and i had a movie date. went to watch gravity. such a good movie. i'm normally not into science-related movies, much less astronaut-related ones, haha. but the movie was really good that i even forgot to eat the snacks we bought. afterwards, had a dinner date of vietnamese beef noodles with A, a childhood friend of mine. we don't see each other often but we like to catch up once in awhile.
gonna drop by the old office today to see my old bosses; need them to sign some work-related stuff. need to swing by and grab some pressies before tho (since one of them just had a baby too) - luckily my old office is connected to a huge shopping mall. also got a movie date with friends from the old office - havent seen any of them in awhile. it feels good to be back seeing familiar faces. i know a lot of things have changed in the last six months but it still feels a little bit like home.
coming to my office now still feels a bit strange. not because of a lack of anything, it's just the fact that i don't have any emotional ties here. i don't have strong friendships here. i guess it'll take time but with the old team, we bonded pretty fast so we were pretty close. but then again, can't compare apples and oranges. the atmosphere back then was pretty informal - even our relationships with our bosses - but here, things are pretty formal and professional. which isn't necessarily a bad thing - work gets done.
it's only tuesday and i'm already feeling so tired. sigh.
prof said i need to cut back on my carbs and start putting an emphasis on proteins instead. he's worried jigglyboo will grow too big for me to deliver normally. fine. the thing is, i don't even eat that much rice. but i do love me some pasta and of course, potatoes are my downfalls. fries, chips, everything. sigh. so i guess i gotta start planning dinners of grilled chicken salad and steaks. back in aussie i used to love having salmon for dinner, easy and yummy - but its so freakin expensive here. double sigh.
anyway, apart from my pregnancy weight gain, prof said everything else looks good. trying not to think too much of the fact that we only have like 10 weeks left til we meet jigglyboo. it's exciting and intimidating all at the same time.
after our appointment, R and i had a movie date. went to watch gravity. such a good movie. i'm normally not into science-related movies, much less astronaut-related ones, haha. but the movie was really good that i even forgot to eat the snacks we bought. afterwards, had a dinner date of vietnamese beef noodles with A, a childhood friend of mine. we don't see each other often but we like to catch up once in awhile.
gonna drop by the old office today to see my old bosses; need them to sign some work-related stuff. need to swing by and grab some pressies before tho (since one of them just had a baby too) - luckily my old office is connected to a huge shopping mall. also got a movie date with friends from the old office - havent seen any of them in awhile. it feels good to be back seeing familiar faces. i know a lot of things have changed in the last six months but it still feels a little bit like home.
coming to my office now still feels a bit strange. not because of a lack of anything, it's just the fact that i don't have any emotional ties here. i don't have strong friendships here. i guess it'll take time but with the old team, we bonded pretty fast so we were pretty close. but then again, can't compare apples and oranges. the atmosphere back then was pretty informal - even our relationships with our bosses - but here, things are pretty formal and professional. which isn't necessarily a bad thing - work gets done.
it's only tuesday and i'm already feeling so tired. sigh.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
silver linings.
my spirits have gradually started to pick up.
it was pretty busy at work last week. had a few overlapping assignments but i enjoyed doing them, feels like i'm learning something new everyday. and the fact that we're allowed to take the time we need to actually do some research on the stuff we need to do is great. also having some time to keep updated with current ongoing events is pretty awesome too.
was actually planning a quiet weekend at home this past weekend. but R's parents got into a minor accident so we had to drive back to his hometown to see how they were doing. then headed back to the city on saturday, just in time to throw together a last-minute football match-viewing/taboo-playing small dinner party at our place. i just threw together some penne carbonara and aglio olio with salad. luckily, R had made some desserts the night before so we had some ready-made choc chip bread butter pudding and brownies in the fridge to serve with ice cream that our friends brought. i can't believe everyone stayed up til 2am playing taboo, btw haha. all in all, it was a fun night.
then sunday was spent running errands, mainly a bit of grocery-shopping and a LOT of jigglyboo stuff-shopping. we had our budget for the month worked out so we managed to get some more of the items on our lists crossed off. everything seems to be coming along okay, thank god. i'm glad we've been saving up for the baby funds as planned, it's a relief to get a lot of the stuff that we need out of the way, without having to resort to taking loans from my mom haha. money is a bit tight these days with all the expenses that we have, but alhamdulillah we're managing for now.
R took the day off today to settle his study loan in the morning and to accompany to my monthly gynae visit in the afternoon. the great thing about working here is i don't have to actually take leave, i just get a time-off slip from my gynae for my checkups. also means that i don't have to squeeze my gynae apointments into my saturdays.
things are still a bit iffy on the family side, but you know what they say; fmaily will walways be family. things to look forward to today: possible movie sesh (been hearing great things about Gravity) and vietnamese beef noodles with an old friend for dinner. i'll take the rainbows where i can get em.
Monday, September 30, 2013
life. lessons.
still waiting for that rainbow.
what i thought would be a fun, relaxing weekend in my hometown turned out to be...well, all that and more.
...except the "more" part wasn't exactly positive.
while carrying jigglyboo in my tummy all this while, i've been doing some thinking. i may not turn out to be the perfect parent who can provide everything that she wants or needs, but i will damn well try my best. and when i say providing everything she wants or needs, i don't mean just in the material sense.
sure, money these days is important. you need to buy quality stuff, and spend some moolah on your kids' developments and all - but love is equally as important.
of all the things i hope to teach jigglyboo, i really want her to understand about love, understanding and kindness.
i hope when i become a mom, i never forget to tell my children that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. i hope to tell them that i am always proud of them when they try their best. i hope that i always remember that they are my children, not little people that i can boss around just because their financial and well-being is dependent on me. i hope they know that they are loved - and that kindness should be an integral part of their every day being.
sure, you need to be tough to survive. but you don't have to be rude, ignorant and dismissive of other people's feelings in order to do so. you can be successful and also be a great person.
what i thought would be a fun, relaxing weekend in my hometown turned out to be...well, all that and more.
...except the "more" part wasn't exactly positive.
while carrying jigglyboo in my tummy all this while, i've been doing some thinking. i may not turn out to be the perfect parent who can provide everything that she wants or needs, but i will damn well try my best. and when i say providing everything she wants or needs, i don't mean just in the material sense.
sure, money these days is important. you need to buy quality stuff, and spend some moolah on your kids' developments and all - but love is equally as important.
of all the things i hope to teach jigglyboo, i really want her to understand about love, understanding and kindness.
i hope when i become a mom, i never forget to tell my children that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. i hope to tell them that i am always proud of them when they try their best. i hope that i always remember that they are my children, not little people that i can boss around just because their financial and well-being is dependent on me. i hope they know that they are loved - and that kindness should be an integral part of their every day being.
sure, you need to be tough to survive. but you don't have to be rude, ignorant and dismissive of other people's feelings in order to do so. you can be successful and also be a great person.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
rainbows.
last week was really rough for me.
i try my best to please the people that matter to me but at the end of the day, it will never be enough.
they say, you can't have rainbows without a little rain.
guess i'm still waiting for that little rainbow to appear.
i try my best to please the people that matter to me but at the end of the day, it will never be enough.
they say, you can't have rainbows without a little rain.
guess i'm still waiting for that little rainbow to appear.
Monday, September 16, 2013
the weekenders.
back to the office after three days of R&R.
if this was a year ago, i probably would be back at the office, either filled with the drive of raring to go or filled with dread - both for the same reason : tonnes of emails would be awaiting and piles of work would be waiting to get done. in fact, i remember many public holidays spent at the office, and if i actually did go home, i'd be spending half of the time glued to my laptop and the other half worrying about work. god, that did wonders for my blood pressure.
don't get me wrong; i loved my job and i loved being productive throughout the day. but when you find physically and mentally exhausted from the amount of time spent at the office - it gets the better of you. nowadays, i get paid to keep updated with financial news - which i love, because i never had time to do this no matter how much i wanted to - and since everything is new to me, i'm learning lots of new info everyday. and we are given time to actually learn and absorb the knowledge - a luxury i never had previously.
anyway, my long weekend was spent in R's hometown in muar. as usual, we spent a lot of time at home. but on sunday, R managed to convince his whole family to spend the whole of sunday visiting a few towns in johor. i finally got to try the ever-famous kluang railway kopitiam. yummy and cheap; definitely wouldn't mind going again! we also made a quick tour at one of the famous national parks in pontian followed by a pretty good seafood dinner before heading home - i was exhausted by the end of it, so went straight to bed as soon as we reached home. i'd say it was a pretty good weekend.
speaking of being exhausted though, my bump has definitely started to grow over the last month or so. it's like it came out of nowhere! haha. i'm a little bit past the six months mark now - so i guess we're heading into the final trimester stretch now. luckily a lot of people i know have been giving birth lately (maybe it's a seasonal thing or i'm just getting old haha) - and they seem to have come out okay, but hey you never know what can happen, right? guess i just gotta get into the right mindset. funnily enough, i've been getting a lot of info off the internet - i have yet to read a single book about giving birth or parenting - i haven't even attempted to buy "What to expect when you're expecting." i guess i don't wanna psych myself out so i've just been relying on babycenter online a lot, and asking questions to my gynae.
my energy levels are still pretty good. i've gotten my cooking mojo back - so i've been doing a lot of that at home - it also helps with the household budget. i've also been able to help R out with some of the other household chores - just the ones i like tho, like sweeping the house and a throwing clothes into our washing machine haha. i still hate mopping and folding laundry (some things will never change). but i read that in the last trimester that my energy levels will probably start to decrease due to the extra weightage i'm carrying around - so i guess i'll try taking it a bit easier in the next few months.
here's to hoping the next few months go along smoothly as planned!
if this was a year ago, i probably would be back at the office, either filled with the drive of raring to go or filled with dread - both for the same reason : tonnes of emails would be awaiting and piles of work would be waiting to get done. in fact, i remember many public holidays spent at the office, and if i actually did go home, i'd be spending half of the time glued to my laptop and the other half worrying about work. god, that did wonders for my blood pressure.
don't get me wrong; i loved my job and i loved being productive throughout the day. but when you find physically and mentally exhausted from the amount of time spent at the office - it gets the better of you. nowadays, i get paid to keep updated with financial news - which i love, because i never had time to do this no matter how much i wanted to - and since everything is new to me, i'm learning lots of new info everyday. and we are given time to actually learn and absorb the knowledge - a luxury i never had previously.
anyway, my long weekend was spent in R's hometown in muar. as usual, we spent a lot of time at home. but on sunday, R managed to convince his whole family to spend the whole of sunday visiting a few towns in johor. i finally got to try the ever-famous kluang railway kopitiam. yummy and cheap; definitely wouldn't mind going again! we also made a quick tour at one of the famous national parks in pontian followed by a pretty good seafood dinner before heading home - i was exhausted by the end of it, so went straight to bed as soon as we reached home. i'd say it was a pretty good weekend.
speaking of being exhausted though, my bump has definitely started to grow over the last month or so. it's like it came out of nowhere! haha. i'm a little bit past the six months mark now - so i guess we're heading into the final trimester stretch now. luckily a lot of people i know have been giving birth lately (maybe it's a seasonal thing or i'm just getting old haha) - and they seem to have come out okay, but hey you never know what can happen, right? guess i just gotta get into the right mindset. funnily enough, i've been getting a lot of info off the internet - i have yet to read a single book about giving birth or parenting - i haven't even attempted to buy "What to expect when you're expecting." i guess i don't wanna psych myself out so i've just been relying on babycenter online a lot, and asking questions to my gynae.
my energy levels are still pretty good. i've gotten my cooking mojo back - so i've been doing a lot of that at home - it also helps with the household budget. i've also been able to help R out with some of the other household chores - just the ones i like tho, like sweeping the house and a throwing clothes into our washing machine haha. i still hate mopping and folding laundry (some things will never change). but i read that in the last trimester that my energy levels will probably start to decrease due to the extra weightage i'm carrying around - so i guess i'll try taking it a bit easier in the next few months.
here's to hoping the next few months go along smoothly as planned!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
keeps me warm.
i hold on strongly to my religion.
and i believe in kindness.
that's all there is to it.
your song.
"You've got the words to change a nation
but you're biting your tongue
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence
afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it
how we gonna learn your song."
- Emeli Sande, Read All About It
for some reason, this song has always resonated within me.
it takes a lot of guts for us to speak up. especially when we're faced with people that we know don't agree with us. people who are straightforward, direct and know what they want are often labelled difficult. and being in certain societies, we are often pressured into being agreeable just for the sake of not rocking the boat. but it's one thing to be polite, and another to be silent.
why do we care so much about pleasing other people when it goes against what we believe in? listen to what others have to say. but also arm ourselves with valid and educated points. argue and disagree respectfully. arguments and disagreements are not a sign of weakness. treated the right way, it's a sparring battlefield where we can have mutual respect for each other and come out with a better understanding of different perspectives. you may not agree with those perspectives, but treat them with respect all the same.
most importantly, to get others to respect us, we gotta start respecting ourselves first.
be strong. be brave.
Friday, September 13, 2013
seventy percent.
yesterday, on my drive back home from work, i was listening to BFM in the car, as i normally do on most days. talkback (the name of the program) was having a discussion on the recent national education blueprint 2013 that was recently published and open to public.
in particular, they were talking about how the blurprint had disclosed that 70% of malaysia's english language teachers had pretty much failed their cambridge test and were unfit to teach. seriously, 70%! what are they teaching in our national schools? there was also a disclosure that some
so anyway, the callers consisted of old-timers, parents and young ones - sharing their stories on how they (and their children) picked up and learned english. basically, what people were saying was, it started at home. AT HOME. either they picked it up from tv (hot fave apparently, haha), video games and books. and a lot of people mentioned that parents also communicated in english at home, which obviously helped. for these kids, schools need to enhance their resources and materials - there were some cases (actually a LOT) of students pointing out how the teacher was actually using wrong grammar or pronounciation. oh, dear.
this doesnt mean teachers should be released from their responsibilities and accountabilities of actually teaching well. far from it. because for kids who don't live in urban areas, who don't have parents that are exposed to english - they need good teachers. they need support, encouragement and good reading/writing/communication material.
but the reality of the matter is: we're in trouble. when even english teachers can't seem to string together a sentence properly, how are we to expect that the non-urban students to perform? they might be able to memorise stuff, but that's not really learning. and what happens when they go for interviews - are they going to memorise scripts for that too?
i'm not sure how exactly the ministry is going to tackle this problem; but they could take a cue from Teach For Malaysia - an excellent program that sources graduates to go and teach in areas that REALLY need help. they are paid relatively well (don't lah compare to investment banking or whatever) but most importantly, the entry requirement is HIGH. these fellows (i think that's what they're called) are given really good training.
i'm no expert but at the end of the day, i think the problem with our education system (especially for the teachers) is that teaching seems to be such an easy cop-out route for a lot of people. bad exam results? takpe, apply jadi cikgu, dapat masuk maktab. want to have a relaxed life? apply jadi cikgu. have a daughter who doesn't know what to do with her future after spm? apply jadi cikgu, bila dah kahwin nanti senang nak mintak transfer ikut suami.
and no, i'm not making up these answers. these are actual things i have heard from actual people.
but why are our standards for teachers so low? this is an honorable job - you're educating a generation of young minds. only those who really want to teach, should teach. not just because you don't have anything better to do with your life.
this actually saddens me. because i have friends who are teachers, and they work really, REALLY hard. they really care about their students. sadly, they are bogged down with so much administration work and reports that this distracts them from their actual work: TEACHING. and nowadays, we have schools (and principals) who are hell-bent in competing with each other on whose students scores the most straight As. it's all exams, exams and exams. nobody seems to care WHAT these kids learn or HOW they learn it - they just want you to score as many As as possible!
i guess, it's also the pressure of this whole rat race we're in. just talking about myself for example, i don't think i could just up and leave my job now, with the pay and benefits i get - to go and teach (my lack of patience is another issue altogether, haha). cost of living is very expensive these days; and i need all the income i can get. so i'm not surprised that other professionals are also reluctant to do the same. seriously, at work, i am surrounded by brilliant minds and talent - inquisitive professionals - sometimes i wonder, if all of these incredible people were out there working as teachers, how amazing would that be for our education system? sadly, all of us are tied with our own commitments - and life just doesn't work that way.
maybe, one day, we'll find a solution to this. until then, let's just do what we can in helping educate our own kids, and the kids around us.
in particular, they were talking about how the blurprint had disclosed that 70% of malaysia's english language teachers had pretty much failed their cambridge test and were unfit to teach. seriously, 70%! what are they teaching in our national schools? there was also a disclosure that some
so anyway, the callers consisted of old-timers, parents and young ones - sharing their stories on how they (and their children) picked up and learned english. basically, what people were saying was, it started at home. AT HOME. either they picked it up from tv (hot fave apparently, haha), video games and books. and a lot of people mentioned that parents also communicated in english at home, which obviously helped. for these kids, schools need to enhance their resources and materials - there were some cases (actually a LOT) of students pointing out how the teacher was actually using wrong grammar or pronounciation. oh, dear.
this doesnt mean teachers should be released from their responsibilities and accountabilities of actually teaching well. far from it. because for kids who don't live in urban areas, who don't have parents that are exposed to english - they need good teachers. they need support, encouragement and good reading/writing/communication material.
but the reality of the matter is: we're in trouble. when even english teachers can't seem to string together a sentence properly, how are we to expect that the non-urban students to perform? they might be able to memorise stuff, but that's not really learning. and what happens when they go for interviews - are they going to memorise scripts for that too?
i'm not sure how exactly the ministry is going to tackle this problem; but they could take a cue from Teach For Malaysia - an excellent program that sources graduates to go and teach in areas that REALLY need help. they are paid relatively well (don't lah compare to investment banking or whatever) but most importantly, the entry requirement is HIGH. these fellows (i think that's what they're called) are given really good training.
i'm no expert but at the end of the day, i think the problem with our education system (especially for the teachers) is that teaching seems to be such an easy cop-out route for a lot of people. bad exam results? takpe, apply jadi cikgu, dapat masuk maktab. want to have a relaxed life? apply jadi cikgu. have a daughter who doesn't know what to do with her future after spm? apply jadi cikgu, bila dah kahwin nanti senang nak mintak transfer ikut suami.
and no, i'm not making up these answers. these are actual things i have heard from actual people.
but why are our standards for teachers so low? this is an honorable job - you're educating a generation of young minds. only those who really want to teach, should teach. not just because you don't have anything better to do with your life.
this actually saddens me. because i have friends who are teachers, and they work really, REALLY hard. they really care about their students. sadly, they are bogged down with so much administration work and reports that this distracts them from their actual work: TEACHING. and nowadays, we have schools (and principals) who are hell-bent in competing with each other on whose students scores the most straight As. it's all exams, exams and exams. nobody seems to care WHAT these kids learn or HOW they learn it - they just want you to score as many As as possible!
i guess, it's also the pressure of this whole rat race we're in. just talking about myself for example, i don't think i could just up and leave my job now, with the pay and benefits i get - to go and teach (my lack of patience is another issue altogether, haha). cost of living is very expensive these days; and i need all the income i can get. so i'm not surprised that other professionals are also reluctant to do the same. seriously, at work, i am surrounded by brilliant minds and talent - inquisitive professionals - sometimes i wonder, if all of these incredible people were out there working as teachers, how amazing would that be for our education system? sadly, all of us are tied with our own commitments - and life just doesn't work that way.
maybe, one day, we'll find a solution to this. until then, let's just do what we can in helping educate our own kids, and the kids around us.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
movers. shakers.
friendship.
as we grow older, i feel as if it becomes less complicated. or maybe it is just as complicated as it used to be; just the way i decide to handle it leaves much less space for drama.
my problem has always been that i have strong opinions. and sometimes, i make those opinions known; loud and clear. this makes people uncomfortable. risk is, you alienate people and you won't be everyone's friend anymore. then again, i've never been much of a people-pleaser. i am well aware of my faults on this. maybe it's just me, but i would hope that my friends would do the same for me. i would rather people tell me things to my face instead of whispering behind my back. whether or not you listen to what i have to say; that's your prerogative.
anyway, as we grow older, i guess it just becomes clearer - you surround yourself with the people that you feel are the best for you. some people could be the nicest people; yet you just don't feel yourself around them. lack of chemistry; that's all there is to it.
at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, you know who's going to be there for you. because, history shows, who was never there for you. as much as i try, i can not, and will not, be every one's friend. and i don't want to put anyone in an awkward position either. so if it's easier this way, then i'll just let it be.
as we grow older, i feel as if it becomes less complicated. or maybe it is just as complicated as it used to be; just the way i decide to handle it leaves much less space for drama.
my problem has always been that i have strong opinions. and sometimes, i make those opinions known; loud and clear. this makes people uncomfortable. risk is, you alienate people and you won't be everyone's friend anymore. then again, i've never been much of a people-pleaser. i am well aware of my faults on this. maybe it's just me, but i would hope that my friends would do the same for me. i would rather people tell me things to my face instead of whispering behind my back. whether or not you listen to what i have to say; that's your prerogative.
anyway, as we grow older, i guess it just becomes clearer - you surround yourself with the people that you feel are the best for you. some people could be the nicest people; yet you just don't feel yourself around them. lack of chemistry; that's all there is to it.
at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, you know who's going to be there for you. because, history shows, who was never there for you. as much as i try, i can not, and will not, be every one's friend. and i don't want to put anyone in an awkward position either. so if it's easier this way, then i'll just let it be.
thrive
i think mr kutcher's message in this speech is very inspiring; and should serve as a reminder to us all.
i probably didn't grow up with that much financial hardship, thanks to my parents. but i've always grown up under pressure to prove myself. i faltered during my early days, just posting average results in college. but after a few failed attempts at doing ACCA, i realized that i really needed to buck up or all this would be a waste of time and my parents' money. so i studied like crazy and passed that stage (i wouldn't wanna go through that phase again tho haha).
during the one of the semesters that i studied part-time, i took up a full-time audit job at a small firm (all the bigger firms rejected my applications - and my shaky interview skills didn't help either), cos i was failing my audit subjects miserably and in some kind of desperation, i thought that would help me understand better the things i was studying. the experience DID help. you can only learn so much from theory. going out and getting things done really enhances your knowledge. and i met the best bunch of colleagues who are still my friends right up until today. but after that stage, i decided to do my last sem full-time, which thankfully paid off.
after that, i thought it would be a new experience to do internal audit. but after a couple of months, i decided it wasn't my thing. the big firms that rejected me previously offered me places at their firms and naturally i was excited at the prospects. i think, that was the first time in my short career span that i realized things aren't always what they seem from the outside looking in. i got a rude awakening of how things were done at the big four firms. i dug my heels in and persevered for all of six months but at one point, i just couldn't lie to myself anymore. i wasn't happy.and it was affecting my life.
so i decided to just take the plunge and say goodbye. i reminded my dad of a previous agreement we had made; that if i finished my ACCA, then he would let me study whatever i wanted to after that. so that's exactly what i did. i went to IDP education for consultation, and went crazy on the internet - looking for universities that i could study something i've always been interested in: writing. i tried to find local courses but none looked too appealing so in the end my dad said i could go to aussie. applied for a one-year master's program in journalism and communication in a uni in brisbane, without basically knowing a single soul over there.
and that year off was pretty much the best decision i ever made. i wouldn't say it was an easy decision, especially with my dad, who agreed but who never let me forget that i was pretty much wasting precious time of my life. i had half a year of unemployment to look at before i left for brisbane so i took up an internship stint with a local communications & production company (something which i'm very proud of because of the kind of work and programs that they do) - and did freelance work writing scripts. i worked on tv series, corporate videos, and articles for the website.
i think getting that out of my system in my mid-20s was the right thing to do. otherwise, i would still be at work today, holding on to that dream that i could be doing freelance work with writing. which isn't impossible, but it wasn't all i thought it would be. i wouldn't mind doing it on the side but having it as a full-time career option is just not for me.
so after i got back from the year off, i started back in the accounting & finance industry. got accepted into an organisation that was just starting up its finance hub here in kl.i had fun and made life-long friends there but the work was demanding, physically and mentally. there were days (no weeks) at a time when i just felt like throwing in the towel and upping and leaving. but i also learned valuable lessons. how not to buckle under pressure (although there was that incident of bursting into tears in front of my panicked boss, haha) - and how to meet expectations and deliver what needs to get done. i promised myself that i would stay as long as i was having fun and learning new things. those two years plus really did fly by.
after two years though, my priorities changed. and i needed a change in the direction of my career as well. i couldn't be doing what i was doing for the next 20 years. it would just kill me. and i knew i wouldn't be happy, or have the kind of quality of life that i needed. so i targeted a few companies that could offer me that career change. explaining to them WHY i wanted that career change wasn't hard, getting them to believe me was the hardest part.
but then again, i didn't leave because of the crazy hours. or the stress. by that time, i was used to it. and i had great bosses who supported me; even after i decided to leave. i just needed to grow. and i had to find the right place to do it. there have been reservations so far but at the end of the day, i'm glad i took that leap of faith. starting over is never easy. but i've always been up for challenges. the challenges here might not be as taxing as the one i was used to, but nevertheless, they require a different set of skills.
at the end of the day, when i think back about it, my short career life has had its ups and its lows. things weren't always what i imagined them to be and things didn't always work out the way i wanted them to. but everything that i went through, i made sure i took them as lessons for the future.
these days, i'm going through a different adventure altogether with mommyhood, but i like to think that once i get back on my feet next year, i'll look forward to other new challenges.
"it always seems impossible until it is done."
truth, indeed.
i probably didn't grow up with that much financial hardship, thanks to my parents. but i've always grown up under pressure to prove myself. i faltered during my early days, just posting average results in college. but after a few failed attempts at doing ACCA, i realized that i really needed to buck up or all this would be a waste of time and my parents' money. so i studied like crazy and passed that stage (i wouldn't wanna go through that phase again tho haha).
during the one of the semesters that i studied part-time, i took up a full-time audit job at a small firm (all the bigger firms rejected my applications - and my shaky interview skills didn't help either), cos i was failing my audit subjects miserably and in some kind of desperation, i thought that would help me understand better the things i was studying. the experience DID help. you can only learn so much from theory. going out and getting things done really enhances your knowledge. and i met the best bunch of colleagues who are still my friends right up until today. but after that stage, i decided to do my last sem full-time, which thankfully paid off.
after that, i thought it would be a new experience to do internal audit. but after a couple of months, i decided it wasn't my thing. the big firms that rejected me previously offered me places at their firms and naturally i was excited at the prospects. i think, that was the first time in my short career span that i realized things aren't always what they seem from the outside looking in. i got a rude awakening of how things were done at the big four firms. i dug my heels in and persevered for all of six months but at one point, i just couldn't lie to myself anymore. i wasn't happy.and it was affecting my life.
so i decided to just take the plunge and say goodbye. i reminded my dad of a previous agreement we had made; that if i finished my ACCA, then he would let me study whatever i wanted to after that. so that's exactly what i did. i went to IDP education for consultation, and went crazy on the internet - looking for universities that i could study something i've always been interested in: writing. i tried to find local courses but none looked too appealing so in the end my dad said i could go to aussie. applied for a one-year master's program in journalism and communication in a uni in brisbane, without basically knowing a single soul over there.
and that year off was pretty much the best decision i ever made. i wouldn't say it was an easy decision, especially with my dad, who agreed but who never let me forget that i was pretty much wasting precious time of my life. i had half a year of unemployment to look at before i left for brisbane so i took up an internship stint with a local communications & production company (something which i'm very proud of because of the kind of work and programs that they do) - and did freelance work writing scripts. i worked on tv series, corporate videos, and articles for the website.
i think getting that out of my system in my mid-20s was the right thing to do. otherwise, i would still be at work today, holding on to that dream that i could be doing freelance work with writing. which isn't impossible, but it wasn't all i thought it would be. i wouldn't mind doing it on the side but having it as a full-time career option is just not for me.
so after i got back from the year off, i started back in the accounting & finance industry. got accepted into an organisation that was just starting up its finance hub here in kl.i had fun and made life-long friends there but the work was demanding, physically and mentally. there were days (no weeks) at a time when i just felt like throwing in the towel and upping and leaving. but i also learned valuable lessons. how not to buckle under pressure (although there was that incident of bursting into tears in front of my panicked boss, haha) - and how to meet expectations and deliver what needs to get done. i promised myself that i would stay as long as i was having fun and learning new things. those two years plus really did fly by.
after two years though, my priorities changed. and i needed a change in the direction of my career as well. i couldn't be doing what i was doing for the next 20 years. it would just kill me. and i knew i wouldn't be happy, or have the kind of quality of life that i needed. so i targeted a few companies that could offer me that career change. explaining to them WHY i wanted that career change wasn't hard, getting them to believe me was the hardest part.
but then again, i didn't leave because of the crazy hours. or the stress. by that time, i was used to it. and i had great bosses who supported me; even after i decided to leave. i just needed to grow. and i had to find the right place to do it. there have been reservations so far but at the end of the day, i'm glad i took that leap of faith. starting over is never easy. but i've always been up for challenges. the challenges here might not be as taxing as the one i was used to, but nevertheless, they require a different set of skills.
at the end of the day, when i think back about it, my short career life has had its ups and its lows. things weren't always what i imagined them to be and things didn't always work out the way i wanted them to. but everything that i went through, i made sure i took them as lessons for the future.
these days, i'm going through a different adventure altogether with mommyhood, but i like to think that once i get back on my feet next year, i'll look forward to other new challenges.
"it always seems impossible until it is done."
truth, indeed.
Monday, September 9, 2013
foodie.
remember how i said in the last entry that i rarely get to see my friends lately?
the thing is, it's not that i don't want to go out and hang out with them. but these days, i tire out easily and i don't really feel comfy sitting in a chair for hours at end. i feel happier at home cooking and chilling out at the sofa in front of the tv.
well, it turns out that i've found a way to kill two birds with one stone. and some of my bestfriends don't seem to mind co-operating. and i'm very grateful that all my friends get a long really well with R. in fact, my friends are pretty much his friends too. so it makes my life much easier. nowadays, if the said friend asks me out and i just don't feel up for a session in the mall, i just invite them over for dinner. haha. well, my cooking skills aren't exactly wide-ranged, but i do okay.
so last week, we had M over. i made (well, assembled is a more appropriate word haha since all i did was flip the patties and sautee the onions, mushrooms and capsicums) burgers. and we still got in some quality time. and today we're gonna have K over - i havent thought of what to make yet - prob something easy like aglio olio.
these were the dishes that i started out making when i was in the land down under a few years back. eating out was super-expensive there (i pretty much only went for kebabs, nando's and fish n chips - but boy did i go crazy on their fro-yo haha) so cooking was the cheaper and easier option. maybe it was easy for me cos i kinda shied away from doing complicated malay dishes. i pretty much stuck to roast chicken, homemade pizza, pasta dishes and sandwiches.fun thing over there was that their grocery stores were heaven! i really miss going to woolworths in garden city (i'd go on a weekly basis, just re-stocking all my supplies) - the fresh produce was lovely, the variety was amazing and their dessert selection was to die for haha.
there are some options here in kl to get what i got there - but it costs waayyyyy more. like, i could go crazy in BIG in publika, but i try to restrain myself. i'll try to get fresh produce somewhere cheaper like at the local shops and when i feel the need for imported goods (waffles, ice cream, cookies, etc) - that's where i'll head to.
oh well. we all adjust to our current surroundings, huh? gotta make do with what we have. as long as i'm surrounded by loved ones, then i'll pretty much be okay :)
well, it turns out that i've found a way to kill two birds with one stone. and some of my bestfriends don't seem to mind co-operating. and i'm very grateful that all my friends get a long really well with R. in fact, my friends are pretty much his friends too. so it makes my life much easier. nowadays, if the said friend asks me out and i just don't feel up for a session in the mall, i just invite them over for dinner. haha. well, my cooking skills aren't exactly wide-ranged, but i do okay.
so last week, we had M over. i made (well, assembled is a more appropriate word haha since all i did was flip the patties and sautee the onions, mushrooms and capsicums) burgers. and we still got in some quality time. and today we're gonna have K over - i havent thought of what to make yet - prob something easy like aglio olio.
these were the dishes that i started out making when i was in the land down under a few years back. eating out was super-expensive there (i pretty much only went for kebabs, nando's and fish n chips - but boy did i go crazy on their fro-yo haha) so cooking was the cheaper and easier option. maybe it was easy for me cos i kinda shied away from doing complicated malay dishes. i pretty much stuck to roast chicken, homemade pizza, pasta dishes and sandwiches.fun thing over there was that their grocery stores were heaven! i really miss going to woolworths in garden city (i'd go on a weekly basis, just re-stocking all my supplies) - the fresh produce was lovely, the variety was amazing and their dessert selection was to die for haha.
there are some options here in kl to get what i got there - but it costs waayyyyy more. like, i could go crazy in BIG in publika, but i try to restrain myself. i'll try to get fresh produce somewhere cheaper like at the local shops and when i feel the need for imported goods (waffles, ice cream, cookies, etc) - that's where i'll head to.
oh well. we all adjust to our current surroundings, huh? gotta make do with what we have. as long as i'm surrounded by loved ones, then i'll pretty much be okay :)
boo!
so R and i went shopping for jigglyboo (yup, that's what we're calling her - yes, it's a her- since we haven't figured out a name yet) over the weekend.
we spent a pretty penny but at least we got the more expensive, important stuff out of the way already. we got her one of those infant car seat/carriers together with a stroller (i won that battle! haha) and the breastpump set (after talking it over with the salesgirl - who was super-helpful) i decided to not go for the crazy-expensive brand (although i'd read great reviews about it) and went with a cheaper brand instead which is hopefully just as good. good deal though, it came with a package consisting of the cooler bag, bottles and all. anyway, since i saved a little on the breastpump set, we could afford to splurge a little on jigglyboo's stuff. we also paid a visit to the hardware store to get some paint for our vintage crib project haha. thanks to my parents, it really is still in good condition even after 20 years - just in need of a little touch up.
i guess i'm a little excited now than i was in the beginning. especially now that i can feel her moving around in my tummy. it's such a funny, weird (and ticklish!) feeling. both R and i have been super cautious with our finances - so i think we'll be okay. we'll just focus on getting jigglyboo settled in and set up a baby fund for her and all - and once all that is done, we can start thinking of the new house. all in good time.
seeing as how finance is a bit tight these days (thank god i'm a lot stronger on my feet these days, and am able to cook again) - i feel guilty splurging on other stuff but i really think R and i should at least go on a babymoon haha. well, our honeymoon did only consist of a night in The Dusun (which was really lovely though) - but maybe we should take some time and enjoy ourselves before the baby comes.i'd really prefer to go somewhere nice and private but we'll see.
looking forward to a few days off next month. this long weekend we're heading back south and next month we'll be heading back home to the east coast.
i feel like i see my friends a lot less these days, but i've gotta pick and choose. can't win em all. but then again, everyone is so busy with work and other commitments - who said being responsible adults was fun?
we spent a pretty penny but at least we got the more expensive, important stuff out of the way already. we got her one of those infant car seat/carriers together with a stroller (i won that battle! haha) and the breastpump set (after talking it over with the salesgirl - who was super-helpful) i decided to not go for the crazy-expensive brand (although i'd read great reviews about it) and went with a cheaper brand instead which is hopefully just as good. good deal though, it came with a package consisting of the cooler bag, bottles and all. anyway, since i saved a little on the breastpump set, we could afford to splurge a little on jigglyboo's stuff. we also paid a visit to the hardware store to get some paint for our vintage crib project haha. thanks to my parents, it really is still in good condition even after 20 years - just in need of a little touch up.
i guess i'm a little excited now than i was in the beginning. especially now that i can feel her moving around in my tummy. it's such a funny, weird (and ticklish!) feeling. both R and i have been super cautious with our finances - so i think we'll be okay. we'll just focus on getting jigglyboo settled in and set up a baby fund for her and all - and once all that is done, we can start thinking of the new house. all in good time.
seeing as how finance is a bit tight these days (thank god i'm a lot stronger on my feet these days, and am able to cook again) - i feel guilty splurging on other stuff but i really think R and i should at least go on a babymoon haha. well, our honeymoon did only consist of a night in The Dusun (which was really lovely though) - but maybe we should take some time and enjoy ourselves before the baby comes.i'd really prefer to go somewhere nice and private but we'll see.
looking forward to a few days off next month. this long weekend we're heading back south and next month we'll be heading back home to the east coast.
i feel like i see my friends a lot less these days, but i've gotta pick and choose. can't win em all. but then again, everyone is so busy with work and other commitments - who said being responsible adults was fun?
Thursday, September 5, 2013
kindness matters.
i have read the attached commencement speech time and time again, but it never gets old (sort of like the Steve Jobs commencement speech). so for those who haven't read it, i strongly recommend you to go read this lovely speech by George Saunders on being kind.
http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/george-saunderss-advice-to-graduates/?_r=0
http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/george-saunderss-advice-to-graduates/?_r=0
colours.
as most of my friends know, i can be quite vocal on my political stance. i'm not necessarily pro-whatever party but i think i just naturally tend to gravitate towards being more liberal. but then again, my dad is one of the most conservative-minded people i know (politics-wise, not much in any other aspect in life haha) so honestly i have no idea where i got my left-side tendencies.
time and time again, we keep hearing about "kalau tak suka malaysia, boleh keluar." up to the point, it's become somewhat a joke. and a fave of trolls everywhere on twitter. then after the 2013 election results unveiled itself, the catchphrase turned into "apa lagi cina mahu?"
honestly, this saddens me.
i feel like i have never disputed bumiputera rights in this country but let's not go overboard with it. if i see unfairness and injustice, i am not just going to turn and look the other way. i may not be the kind of person who will take to the streets to protest, but i fully support anyone's rights to hold a peaceful assembly (which is well within their rights of this country's laws).
the amount of racist words (hurled from all parties) post-election kind of depressed me. but most of all it made me angry.
sure, i was born malay. it was by pure luck; it's that simple. so when you treat my non-malay friends like they are 2nd class citizens just for being born as non-malays, it makes me very upset. these are the friends whose ancestors have come to malaysia to build a new life many, many years ago. malaysia is the only country they know. my grandparents migrated from indonesia many years ago; so how is that different? just because they had somewhat malay blood in them? if my chinese/indian friends are considered as pendatang, i stand with them and say, so am i.
look. there are bad chnese people as much as there are bad malays, indians, sabahans, and sarawakians. but i believe that for one rotten apple, there are also many great ones.
over the past few months, i have read posts that talk about how sad they are to see malays in disarray. how malays need to come together and unite. sure, but unite against what? don't confuse with being malays as being muslims. it's only exclusive to a country like malaysia.
i am always a muslim before i am a malay. and my religion teaches me of kindness, of love, of compassion. so if i see a malay that is full of hate and spews racist shit at every opportunity, i'm supposed to like them and vote for them just because they're malay? I REFUSE.
it's very disheartening to hear from friends who think i am not a supporter of my own race (although why it matters so much what race i am is beyond me - who is a pure malay anyway? we're all a mix of many things) just because i'm not an ultra-malay and don't agree to their concept of ketuanan melayu. well how would you feel if there was a concept like ketuanan cina or ketuanan india? i don't think malays would like it very much, would they? so pray tell, why should i support people who treat my friends as if they are unequal citizens of this country?
"biasalah, janji melayu."
"cina memang kaki penipu."
"india memang pemalas."
are these the kind of things we want to pass to out future generations? is this the kind of message i want to teach my future children? again, I REFUSE.
because i hear it all the time around me. i know as many of malay friends who make it a point to be punctual as much as i know chinese friends who are honest and kinf and indian friends who have worked hard and struggled to achieve the success and careers they have now.
malaysia is made up of many backgrounds, colours, and lifestyles. that is the beauty of our country. that is the heart of our nation. we're all malaysians. we're all in this together.
if you expect others to respect you and your choices, please give the same respect to others. maybe if you had more friends outside your own race, you wouldn't feel so threatened and sensitive all the time. if malays really feel threatened that their economy or identity is being taken away, then work harder. i don't think chinese people sit around plotting of ways to bring down malays. they're too busy working their asses off. and even if they were, then you gotta make sure you work harder than they do. compete on a level playing ground. how long do you want to be propped up with subsidies and benefits? change your own destiny. it might be hard, but it's not impossible.
i am thankful to my parents for giving me a great education, support and confidence. i want to raise my children as better human beings. nothing is impossible if they work hard for it. usaha, dia, tawakkal.
don't be afraid of what others think of you. be smart, be brave. struggle is a great teacher, you just need to be aware of its lessons.
before pointing our fingers at others, take a good look at ourselves in the mirror. look at our own weaknesses and own up to our own faults. work on being better every day. at work, at home, with family and friends.
don't be afraid of hard work. i want to raise my daughters to not be afraid to compete with my sons (and my sons to respect women). but most of all, i want my kids, irrespective if they are boys or girls, to always compete with themselves.
let's work on passing on a greater malaysia to our future generations.
call me naive. call me an optimist.
but i will always choose hope over fear.
time and time again, we keep hearing about "kalau tak suka malaysia, boleh keluar." up to the point, it's become somewhat a joke. and a fave of trolls everywhere on twitter. then after the 2013 election results unveiled itself, the catchphrase turned into "apa lagi cina mahu?"
honestly, this saddens me.
i feel like i have never disputed bumiputera rights in this country but let's not go overboard with it. if i see unfairness and injustice, i am not just going to turn and look the other way. i may not be the kind of person who will take to the streets to protest, but i fully support anyone's rights to hold a peaceful assembly (which is well within their rights of this country's laws).
the amount of racist words (hurled from all parties) post-election kind of depressed me. but most of all it made me angry.
sure, i was born malay. it was by pure luck; it's that simple. so when you treat my non-malay friends like they are 2nd class citizens just for being born as non-malays, it makes me very upset. these are the friends whose ancestors have come to malaysia to build a new life many, many years ago. malaysia is the only country they know. my grandparents migrated from indonesia many years ago; so how is that different? just because they had somewhat malay blood in them? if my chinese/indian friends are considered as pendatang, i stand with them and say, so am i.
look. there are bad chnese people as much as there are bad malays, indians, sabahans, and sarawakians. but i believe that for one rotten apple, there are also many great ones.
over the past few months, i have read posts that talk about how sad they are to see malays in disarray. how malays need to come together and unite. sure, but unite against what? don't confuse with being malays as being muslims. it's only exclusive to a country like malaysia.
i am always a muslim before i am a malay. and my religion teaches me of kindness, of love, of compassion. so if i see a malay that is full of hate and spews racist shit at every opportunity, i'm supposed to like them and vote for them just because they're malay? I REFUSE.
it's very disheartening to hear from friends who think i am not a supporter of my own race (although why it matters so much what race i am is beyond me - who is a pure malay anyway? we're all a mix of many things) just because i'm not an ultra-malay and don't agree to their concept of ketuanan melayu. well how would you feel if there was a concept like ketuanan cina or ketuanan india? i don't think malays would like it very much, would they? so pray tell, why should i support people who treat my friends as if they are unequal citizens of this country?
"biasalah, janji melayu."
"cina memang kaki penipu."
"india memang pemalas."
are these the kind of things we want to pass to out future generations? is this the kind of message i want to teach my future children? again, I REFUSE.
because i hear it all the time around me. i know as many of malay friends who make it a point to be punctual as much as i know chinese friends who are honest and kinf and indian friends who have worked hard and struggled to achieve the success and careers they have now.
malaysia is made up of many backgrounds, colours, and lifestyles. that is the beauty of our country. that is the heart of our nation. we're all malaysians. we're all in this together.
if you expect others to respect you and your choices, please give the same respect to others. maybe if you had more friends outside your own race, you wouldn't feel so threatened and sensitive all the time. if malays really feel threatened that their economy or identity is being taken away, then work harder. i don't think chinese people sit around plotting of ways to bring down malays. they're too busy working their asses off. and even if they were, then you gotta make sure you work harder than they do. compete on a level playing ground. how long do you want to be propped up with subsidies and benefits? change your own destiny. it might be hard, but it's not impossible.
i am thankful to my parents for giving me a great education, support and confidence. i want to raise my children as better human beings. nothing is impossible if they work hard for it. usaha, dia, tawakkal.
don't be afraid of what others think of you. be smart, be brave. struggle is a great teacher, you just need to be aware of its lessons.
before pointing our fingers at others, take a good look at ourselves in the mirror. look at our own weaknesses and own up to our own faults. work on being better every day. at work, at home, with family and friends.
don't be afraid of hard work. i want to raise my daughters to not be afraid to compete with my sons (and my sons to respect women). but most of all, i want my kids, irrespective if they are boys or girls, to always compete with themselves.
let's work on passing on a greater malaysia to our future generations.
call me naive. call me an optimist.
but i will always choose hope over fear.
31st.
so Merdeka celebrations have come and gone. it's not wrong to still feel patriotic, right? yes, despite all the things happening within our beloved nation, I still feel proud of this small nation. despite our imperfections, i am proud of the nation-builders this country has. our opinions on how to save this country might differ, but our objective is the same. we want the best for this nation, and for its future.
i'm not really one of those flag-bearing, Negaraku-singing citizens. my patriotism is more subtle. i don't feel the need to shout it out loud or argue with other people just to prove my patriotism.
there is no place like home.
i especially feel that way when i am traveling/out of the country. at the end of a trip, i always feel so happy to be on home soil again.
i spent almost a year studying in the land down under. not a very long time compared to others but still, time away the same. most people thought i was crazy, leaving a secure job, family and friends to go study something that was something totally out of my comfort zone (i really didn't know a soul there). but i liked the anonymity of starting over somewhere that has no history recollections of who i am, who my family and friends are, etc.
i enjoyed my time there - i truly feel being away from everything that is comforting allows you to really discover what you're made of. you find yourself in a lot of uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations but still, you just plow through, making the best out of things/situations. i won't deny i got homesick though - and i enjoyed immensely when familiar faces came to visit me, ie. my family and friends who made the trip to visit me while sightseeing - but the time away from malaysia allowed me to truly define myself and what i stand for.
i did my final journalism project on a political event that happened back in malaysia. and i found it so refreshing that throughout my time there, not once was i asked, what race i was. whenever i met someone new, they just asked me "so, where are you from?" and everytime, i was always proud to say "I'm from malaysia." (there was this one time when a guy told me he'd been to malaysia and all he saw was malls though, haha.
i met students from all over the world (my roomies consisted of students from vietnam and india) - some of my good friends there were from indonesia, brunei and also china. everyone was proud of the country they came from, but they were also honest about its shortcomings. in order to improve, we need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror with untinted lenses. nobody appointed me to be an ambassador for the country but in my own little way, i felt like i was. no matter how insignificant i was, i was a representative of malaysia. and i wanted to do her proud.
when the time came for me to head home, i bid my goodbyes and readied myself for another new adventure all over again.
and when the Malaysia Airlines aircraft i took home descended in Kuala Lumpur and the aircrew announced, "...and to all Malaysian, welcome home," i got the chills and there were tears in my eyes.
malaysia, i'm home.
i'm not really one of those flag-bearing, Negaraku-singing citizens. my patriotism is more subtle. i don't feel the need to shout it out loud or argue with other people just to prove my patriotism.
there is no place like home.
i especially feel that way when i am traveling/out of the country. at the end of a trip, i always feel so happy to be on home soil again.
i spent almost a year studying in the land down under. not a very long time compared to others but still, time away the same. most people thought i was crazy, leaving a secure job, family and friends to go study something that was something totally out of my comfort zone (i really didn't know a soul there). but i liked the anonymity of starting over somewhere that has no history recollections of who i am, who my family and friends are, etc.
i enjoyed my time there - i truly feel being away from everything that is comforting allows you to really discover what you're made of. you find yourself in a lot of uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations but still, you just plow through, making the best out of things/situations. i won't deny i got homesick though - and i enjoyed immensely when familiar faces came to visit me, ie. my family and friends who made the trip to visit me while sightseeing - but the time away from malaysia allowed me to truly define myself and what i stand for.
i did my final journalism project on a political event that happened back in malaysia. and i found it so refreshing that throughout my time there, not once was i asked, what race i was. whenever i met someone new, they just asked me "so, where are you from?" and everytime, i was always proud to say "I'm from malaysia." (there was this one time when a guy told me he'd been to malaysia and all he saw was malls though, haha.
i met students from all over the world (my roomies consisted of students from vietnam and india) - some of my good friends there were from indonesia, brunei and also china. everyone was proud of the country they came from, but they were also honest about its shortcomings. in order to improve, we need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror with untinted lenses. nobody appointed me to be an ambassador for the country but in my own little way, i felt like i was. no matter how insignificant i was, i was a representative of malaysia. and i wanted to do her proud.
when the time came for me to head home, i bid my goodbyes and readied myself for another new adventure all over again.
and when the Malaysia Airlines aircraft i took home descended in Kuala Lumpur and the aircrew announced, "...and to all Malaysian, welcome home," i got the chills and there were tears in my eyes.
malaysia, i'm home.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
"stay hungry. stay foolish."
I’ve been thinking about family and parenting styles a lot
lately.
My lil sister is about to start her degree program after
completing her foundation program in communication. The other three of us are
pretty settled in our careers for now. R says, the choices my siblings and I
have made over the years, that have led us to our studies and careers, were
guided by our parents and their support for us. Which is true. In a sense, we’ve
been lucky. We might not be a perfect, typical family (we can be quite
dysfunctional at times) but when it comes to studies, careers and basically our
financial future, my parents have always been a wealth of support – both in
terms of financial and moral.
My mother is the one who pretty much single-handedly raised
us; sending us off to countless of tuition classes, extra curriculum sessions,
sports and music classes and whatnot. She was our anchor; our moral support –
and our hugest supporter/counsellor/friend. My dad was the one who worked a lot
– over the years, he has been very demanding and somewhat controlling over our
choices – but I think in the end, his heart was always in the right place. And
with his hard work and knowledge, we were able to thread through our choices
and work out our own career paths.
But it also comes down to pure hard work and determination.
In addition to our parents wanting the best for us, we ourselves wanted the
best for ourselves. I don’t think it’s fair to discount that factor. Sure, we
were lucky but we planned our studies/careers and we work really hard to have gotten
where we are today.
So honestly, it disheartens me a lil bit to see some people
who just want to live in their own little world and not strive to be better at
what they do. They’re just very complacent with what they have. Sure, there’s
nothing wrong with being happy with what you have but I also believe you have
to keep improving yourself; whether it’s your studies, career, or even just
your interpersonal skills or knowledge.
I feel extra bad for those who are just so
single-track-minded that they don’t see the bigger picture. Sure, it’s
important to get really good grades – but you need to keep in mind, what are
those grades for? They should just be a part of your stepping stone so you can
move on to bigger, better, things. Good grades without savvy thinking is a
waste. If you want something, you need to figure out a plan on how to get it.
You can’t just wait for things to be handed to you. My parents have always
taught us the value of asking questions. If you don’t know, ASK. What does it
matter if some people think you’re asking a stupid question? At the end of the
day, it’s your gain. And with the internet, everything is possible these days.
You just need to know how to use the resources you have.
In the words of the great Steve Jobs, “Stay hungry. Stay
foolish.”
worry. not.
So, how was everyone’s raya?
Mine was good; I think I’ve somewhat adjusted to the different
styles of raya R and I share – the all-out, continuous, visiting relatives with
R’s family then the relaxed, raya-food-only-on-the-first-day style we have with
my family. Obviously, I get tired easily these days so being out at five
different houses in one day is pretty challenging but it wasn’t so bad.
I’ve been thinking about a lot about how our lives are gonna
change after the baby comes. The crèche at my office is fully occupied for
babies so we’ll just have to put our name on the waiting list and hope there’s
an opening in the future. My mom has volunteered to take care of him/her; at
least until we find a good place to send her to. So far, no luck. The quality
of the places we’ve surveyed just does not put either of us at ease.
And since I’m an accountant at heart, finance is obviously a
big factor. We’ll definitely need to make some adjustments in our spending. I’ve
been working on a baby budget and it does NOT look pretty. I’ve been trying to
put aside some extra money every month so we can at least get the stuff we want
without touching our savings. And yes, I know, I could probably get some of the
stuff at a cheaper price but I’ve always been a big believer in safety and
quality. So, there it is.
Then, after the baby comes, we’ll need to work out a new
household budget. Money needs to be put aside for his/her expenses (food,
diapers, etc) and a large chunk will probably go towards daycare. Then, there
are bills and mortgages to pay off. At this rate, I don’t even want to think
about the new house. Maybe we’ll just leave it til everything settles down.
Sure, it’d be nice to finally live in a house but then, when I think about the
amount of work it’ll need and the amount of cleaning needed to maintain it, I
get a headache all over again.
OK, enough about my worries.
Off to lighter stuff.
We’re back off to Kuantan again this weekend for a wedding.
Maybe I’ll finally be able to get some keropok lekor (didn’t have time over the
raya hols). Here’s to hoping for
stress-free weeks ahead!
Monday, August 5, 2013
lemang. dan rendang.
it's gonna be my first raya away from my family this year. i know, i shouldn't complain because last year rohe had to spend time away from his (and this year it's my turn) and my family-in-law are great people...but it's just weird, you know?
oh, well.
going into my 20th week, i've been feeling a lot better compared to my first trimester. no more daily morning pukes. and my appetite has stabilised a bit. but i'm still careful about what i eat. gynae (yup, we finally settled on one i feel confident about - he's experienced. it's within our budget range and the hospital is right across the street from our place) warned me to watch my carb intake cos he's worried since i'm not very tall, and if the baby ends up being too big...then well, there's gonna be problems. i havent picked up a single pregnancy book yet, which is weird for me. but i've looked up a little info here and there on the net (i told my gynae on my first visit that i need epi for delivery haha). but at the end of the day, i just don't wanna psych myself out. and i don't really have much options on my food intake, seeing as how some food really make me feel sick - so i just try to take my meds and not feel guilty about anything else.
i still haven't told that many people about the pregnancy, apart from close friends. not that i want to hide it or anything but i just don't feel comfortable when people ask me about it. and i honestly don't know how to feel about it. people expect me to be like over the moon with happiness, and as horrible as it sounds, i'm not. i don't dislike my pregnancy, i just don't really have any feelings about it. i want him/her to be healthy and safe and i know our lives are going to be so different once he/she arrives, but apart from that, i really don't know what to do. the funny thing is, i've always been a planner when it comes to every other aspect in my life, but when it comes to this, i'm sort of clueless. i haven't bought a single baby item and i just don't feel prepared emotionally or financially.
i know everyone says, semua anak ada rezeki masing-masing. but that doesn't do much to alleviate my worries when it comes to financial matters. i've always been quite careful with my money and i feel like so much is going on right now. we finally feel settled in at the new apartment but soon our house will be ready and we'll have to think about in addition to the monthly loan payment; how we're going to come up with the extra moolah to do all the furniture and fittings and renovation stuff. at the same time, the baby is coming so that's another extra allocation we need to set aside for his/her expenses.
but then when i take some time to step back and think about how different my life is now compared to what my life was just a year ago, i feel so grateful and blessed. this time, last year i wanted to make my own raya cookies but with work, it just wasn't possible. i'd just been married for a little over a month and i have to admit, my life pretty much revolved around work. even when i wasn't physically in the office (which was rare), i was at home doing work. don't get me wrong, i learned a lot and i loved my bosses and friends there but the job just consumed me.
this time around, i pretty much took it easy. with the pregnancy and all, i'm just doing what feels right for my body. i leave work at the office (i rarely leave after 6pm) and at the same time, i feel like i have time to learn and absorb from all the courses i'm attending. thankfully, my sickness eased up just in time for the holiday period and i've been feeling well enough to work on a number of baking projects with R. it's been pretty fun; we've made orange cakes, lemon cookies, choc chip cookies and peanut butter-jelly cookies.
and the best part is i don't have to plan my life around work anymore. i mean, obviously i take into account deadlines and courses that i need to attend and all, but i've been able to take time off to go for my monthly gynae appointments and also take raya leave without feeling guilty and suffering the consequences when i come back into work. i've been reading friends' statuses on fb - on how they can't enjoy raya because they have demanding deadlines and some have had to shorten their leaves and whatnot; and i feel so relieved that i'm not in that position anymore.
so this year, i'm thankful for everything i've gone through which has made me a better, stronger person. and i'm also very, very grateful for everything i have today.
oh, well.
going into my 20th week, i've been feeling a lot better compared to my first trimester. no more daily morning pukes. and my appetite has stabilised a bit. but i'm still careful about what i eat. gynae (yup, we finally settled on one i feel confident about - he's experienced. it's within our budget range and the hospital is right across the street from our place) warned me to watch my carb intake cos he's worried since i'm not very tall, and if the baby ends up being too big...then well, there's gonna be problems. i havent picked up a single pregnancy book yet, which is weird for me. but i've looked up a little info here and there on the net (i told my gynae on my first visit that i need epi for delivery haha). but at the end of the day, i just don't wanna psych myself out. and i don't really have much options on my food intake, seeing as how some food really make me feel sick - so i just try to take my meds and not feel guilty about anything else.
i still haven't told that many people about the pregnancy, apart from close friends. not that i want to hide it or anything but i just don't feel comfortable when people ask me about it. and i honestly don't know how to feel about it. people expect me to be like over the moon with happiness, and as horrible as it sounds, i'm not. i don't dislike my pregnancy, i just don't really have any feelings about it. i want him/her to be healthy and safe and i know our lives are going to be so different once he/she arrives, but apart from that, i really don't know what to do. the funny thing is, i've always been a planner when it comes to every other aspect in my life, but when it comes to this, i'm sort of clueless. i haven't bought a single baby item and i just don't feel prepared emotionally or financially.
i know everyone says, semua anak ada rezeki masing-masing. but that doesn't do much to alleviate my worries when it comes to financial matters. i've always been quite careful with my money and i feel like so much is going on right now. we finally feel settled in at the new apartment but soon our house will be ready and we'll have to think about in addition to the monthly loan payment; how we're going to come up with the extra moolah to do all the furniture and fittings and renovation stuff. at the same time, the baby is coming so that's another extra allocation we need to set aside for his/her expenses.
but then when i take some time to step back and think about how different my life is now compared to what my life was just a year ago, i feel so grateful and blessed. this time, last year i wanted to make my own raya cookies but with work, it just wasn't possible. i'd just been married for a little over a month and i have to admit, my life pretty much revolved around work. even when i wasn't physically in the office (which was rare), i was at home doing work. don't get me wrong, i learned a lot and i loved my bosses and friends there but the job just consumed me.
this time around, i pretty much took it easy. with the pregnancy and all, i'm just doing what feels right for my body. i leave work at the office (i rarely leave after 6pm) and at the same time, i feel like i have time to learn and absorb from all the courses i'm attending. thankfully, my sickness eased up just in time for the holiday period and i've been feeling well enough to work on a number of baking projects with R. it's been pretty fun; we've made orange cakes, lemon cookies, choc chip cookies and peanut butter-jelly cookies.
and the best part is i don't have to plan my life around work anymore. i mean, obviously i take into account deadlines and courses that i need to attend and all, but i've been able to take time off to go for my monthly gynae appointments and also take raya leave without feeling guilty and suffering the consequences when i come back into work. i've been reading friends' statuses on fb - on how they can't enjoy raya because they have demanding deadlines and some have had to shorten their leaves and whatnot; and i feel so relieved that i'm not in that position anymore.
so this year, i'm thankful for everything i've gone through which has made me a better, stronger person. and i'm also very, very grateful for everything i have today.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Jump!
Jumped over my first hurdle at work today.
Had a joint-presentation with a fellow newbie teammate on a topic chosen by the boss. I'd been to a previous presentation by another team member and it had seemed laid-back enough. Boy, was i in for a shock. Since ours was attended by the HOD and all the other bosses, it was a lot more intimidating. I guess i did my best, considering the circumstances. Boss asks tough questions but she seems like a fair person. And she's like a wealth of info, just from the top of her head. What a woman. I'm kind of in awe.
Received good feedback from everyone and hear back from one of the managers that the boss was happy with it as well. Phew. Who knew a presentation could be intense? But then again, all presentations are a bit difficult for me since public speaking is not my forte. It seems like the new job demands a lot of it though. Guess i gotta adapt fast.
So all in all, it wasn't a bad day. I say that because my tummy still feels queasy all day. This is getting to be really exhausting.
Had a joint-presentation with a fellow newbie teammate on a topic chosen by the boss. I'd been to a previous presentation by another team member and it had seemed laid-back enough. Boy, was i in for a shock. Since ours was attended by the HOD and all the other bosses, it was a lot more intimidating. I guess i did my best, considering the circumstances. Boss asks tough questions but she seems like a fair person. And she's like a wealth of info, just from the top of her head. What a woman. I'm kind of in awe.
Received good feedback from everyone and hear back from one of the managers that the boss was happy with it as well. Phew. Who knew a presentation could be intense? But then again, all presentations are a bit difficult for me since public speaking is not my forte. It seems like the new job demands a lot of it though. Guess i gotta adapt fast.
So all in all, it wasn't a bad day. I say that because my tummy still feels queasy all day. This is getting to be really exhausting.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
of sunshine and rainbows.
I hate being whiny and complaining all the time but this has
got to be the most miserable period of my life. I know, it’s supposed to be the
happiest time of my life but I just can’t muster up any energy to do so.
And I’m kind of frustrated with myself because from the
outside, it just doesn’t seem to be like a big deal. But my stomach is
uncomfortable ALL the time and if I’m not trying to figure out what I can eat
that won’t make me throw up, then I’m in the bathroom actually yakking my guts
out. It’s definitely no love and rainbows. I haven’t cooked in weeks or done
the laundry or did any chores…I really feel all sorts of useless.
Everyone keeps telling me that it’ll get better (and the
little research I’ve done online says so too) but at the moment, it’s not very
comforting. Most of the time, I just feel like curling up into a ball. It’s not
so bad when I’m at work cos I have things to distract me but when I’m at home…
I don’t know. I’m just so nauseous all the time. Only thing that I feel really
helps soothe my tummy is frozen yoghurt. Haha.
The house is in a sorry state of mess. Normally I would just
be picking up stuff here and there and making sure things don’t get too out of
hand. I’m lucky that my husband is a super person who does all the things that
I can’t do for now (both him and my sis help out with the laundry) but of
course it’s not really the same as what I could do around the house when I’m in
a better state of mind.
But then again, I think I have to count my lucky stars that
I got pregnant on the new job (sure, I’m worried about what my boss here will
think, getting pregnant so soon into the new job, but hey it wasn’t planned) –
but I don’t think I could survive late nights at the office (goes with the
territory at my old job). And the stress would probably do me in. It’s
stress-free here (so far), so maybe I should find some things to occupy myself
with. Update: told my boss, he took it like it was any other uninteresting news
haha. Shouldn’t have much effect on my work.
I want to do pre-natal yoga as well but don’t think it’s a
wise thing to do at the moment, given that I feel nauseous, even standing
straight up; much less with my heads between my legs.
I feel like I should be doing a lot more research – about
food consumption, about my physical health, about the doctor for delivery (I
pretty much have my heart set on a doctor but she’s VERY in demand so I guess
I’m still up for opinions). But then again, I just don’t have the energy. I
used to love veggies but I now turn green at the sight of greens. It sounds
funnier than it actually is :/
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