31st.

so Merdeka celebrations have come and gone. it's not wrong to still feel patriotic, right? yes, despite all the things happening within our beloved nation, I still feel proud of this small nation. despite our imperfections, i am proud of the nation-builders this country has. our opinions on how to save this country might differ, but our objective is the same. we want the best for this nation, and for its future.

i'm not really one of those flag-bearing, Negaraku-singing citizens. my patriotism is more subtle. i don't feel the need to shout it out loud or argue with other people just to prove my patriotism.

there is no place like home.

i especially feel that way when i am traveling/out of the country. at the end of a trip, i always feel so happy to be on home soil again.

i spent almost a year studying in the land down under. not a very long time compared to others but still, time away the same. most people thought i was crazy, leaving a secure job, family and friends to go study something that was something totally out of my comfort zone (i really didn't know a soul there). but i liked the anonymity of starting over somewhere that has no history recollections of who i am, who my family and friends are, etc.

i enjoyed my time there - i truly feel being away from everything that is comforting allows you to really discover what you're made of. you find yourself in a lot of uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations but still, you just plow through, making the best out of things/situations. i won't deny i got homesick though - and i enjoyed immensely when familiar faces came to visit me, ie. my family and friends who made the trip to visit me while sightseeing - but the time away from malaysia allowed me to truly define myself and what i stand for.

i did my final journalism project on a political event that happened back in malaysia. and i found it so refreshing that throughout my time there, not once was i asked, what race i was. whenever i met someone new, they just asked me "so, where are you from?" and everytime, i was always proud to say "I'm from malaysia." (there was this one time when a guy told me he'd been to malaysia and all he saw was malls though, haha.

i met students from all over the world (my roomies consisted of students from vietnam and india) - some of my good friends there were from indonesia, brunei and also china. everyone was proud of the country they came from, but they were also honest about its shortcomings. in order to improve, we need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror with untinted lenses. nobody appointed me to be an ambassador for the country but in my own little way, i felt like i was. no matter how insignificant i was, i was a representative of malaysia. and i wanted to do her proud.

when the time came for me to head home, i bid my goodbyes and readied myself for another new adventure all over again.

and when the Malaysia Airlines aircraft i took home descended in Kuala Lumpur and the aircrew announced, "...and to all Malaysian, welcome home," i got the chills and there were tears in my eyes.

malaysia, i'm home.