i probably didn't grow up with that much financial hardship, thanks to my parents. but i've always grown up under pressure to prove myself. i faltered during my early days, just posting average results in college. but after a few failed attempts at doing ACCA, i realized that i really needed to buck up or all this would be a waste of time and my parents' money. so i studied like crazy and passed that stage (i wouldn't wanna go through that phase again tho haha).
during the one of the semesters that i studied part-time, i took up a full-time audit job at a small firm (all the bigger firms rejected my applications - and my shaky interview skills didn't help either), cos i was failing my audit subjects miserably and in some kind of desperation, i thought that would help me understand better the things i was studying. the experience DID help. you can only learn so much from theory. going out and getting things done really enhances your knowledge. and i met the best bunch of colleagues who are still my friends right up until today. but after that stage, i decided to do my last sem full-time, which thankfully paid off.
after that, i thought it would be a new experience to do internal audit. but after a couple of months, i decided it wasn't my thing. the big firms that rejected me previously offered me places at their firms and naturally i was excited at the prospects. i think, that was the first time in my short career span that i realized things aren't always what they seem from the outside looking in. i got a rude awakening of how things were done at the big four firms. i dug my heels in and persevered for all of six months but at one point, i just couldn't lie to myself anymore. i wasn't happy.and it was affecting my life.
so i decided to just take the plunge and say goodbye. i reminded my dad of a previous agreement we had made; that if i finished my ACCA, then he would let me study whatever i wanted to after that. so that's exactly what i did. i went to IDP education for consultation, and went crazy on the internet - looking for universities that i could study something i've always been interested in: writing. i tried to find local courses but none looked too appealing so in the end my dad said i could go to aussie. applied for a one-year master's program in journalism and communication in a uni in brisbane, without basically knowing a single soul over there.
and that year off was pretty much the best decision i ever made. i wouldn't say it was an easy decision, especially with my dad, who agreed but who never let me forget that i was pretty much wasting precious time of my life. i had half a year of unemployment to look at before i left for brisbane so i took up an internship stint with a local communications & production company (something which i'm very proud of because of the kind of work and programs that they do) - and did freelance work writing scripts. i worked on tv series, corporate videos, and articles for the website.
i think getting that out of my system in my mid-20s was the right thing to do. otherwise, i would still be at work today, holding on to that dream that i could be doing freelance work with writing. which isn't impossible, but it wasn't all i thought it would be. i wouldn't mind doing it on the side but having it as a full-time career option is just not for me.
so after i got back from the year off, i started back in the accounting & finance industry. got accepted into an organisation that was just starting up its finance hub here in kl.i had fun and made life-long friends there but the work was demanding, physically and mentally. there were days (no weeks) at a time when i just felt like throwing in the towel and upping and leaving. but i also learned valuable lessons. how not to buckle under pressure (although there was that incident of bursting into tears in front of my panicked boss, haha) - and how to meet expectations and deliver what needs to get done. i promised myself that i would stay as long as i was having fun and learning new things. those two years plus really did fly by.
after two years though, my priorities changed. and i needed a change in the direction of my career as well. i couldn't be doing what i was doing for the next 20 years. it would just kill me. and i knew i wouldn't be happy, or have the kind of quality of life that i needed. so i targeted a few companies that could offer me that career change. explaining to them WHY i wanted that career change wasn't hard, getting them to believe me was the hardest part.
but then again, i didn't leave because of the crazy hours. or the stress. by that time, i was used to it. and i had great bosses who supported me; even after i decided to leave. i just needed to grow. and i had to find the right place to do it. there have been reservations so far but at the end of the day, i'm glad i took that leap of faith. starting over is never easy. but i've always been up for challenges. the challenges here might not be as taxing as the one i was used to, but nevertheless, they require a different set of skills.
at the end of the day, when i think back about it, my short career life has had its ups and its lows. things weren't always what i imagined them to be and things didn't always work out the way i wanted them to. but everything that i went through, i made sure i took them as lessons for the future.
these days, i'm going through a different adventure altogether with mommyhood, but i like to think that once i get back on my feet next year, i'll look forward to other new challenges.
"it always seems impossible until it is done."
truth, indeed.
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