mysterious ways.

i guess if you talk about it (or in my case, write about it) often enough, eventually it's gonna happen. i know i've been talking about how i've been feeling at work for quite some time now. so after an emergency episode involving jigglyboo earlier this week, i finally took the plunge.

it's not the most rational decision i've made, but when it came down to it, i just cannot pretend that these feelings don't exist. i've been unhappy. i've tried and held on to this job for more than a year now. but deep down, i've always known that i don't fit in here. i've lost a sense of who i am. and really, no one here knows the real me.

so am closing this chapter in three months. not really sad to see it go, but it's taught me a lot. about what i want in life, and what i don't want. the job might come with a big name and cushy benefits and all that jazz, but i've come to realise that it isn't enough. i need something that makes me feel alive, that motivates me to go to work everyday. an environment that i look forward to facing, no matter how challenging it is.

i guess i'm apprehensive about what the future is gonna bring. but all i can do is be the best version of myself and leave the rest to the universe. i'm having to be very picky about what kind of work that i can do now, with a little one that needs my attention at home and on an ongoing basis. before, i would've thrown my whole self into work, not caring about day or night. but these days, i need to be smart about things.

they say, God works in mysterious ways and i believe that He knows best. may we be strong and united. amen.